get sweaty

{for this week's workout wednesday post, I've asked my very cool friend Nena to create a workout playlist! Nena is one of the fittest girls I know, and she's known throughout our social circles as the person with the coolest [and most extensive] taste in music! you can find her music blog on tumblr, and her hilarious thoughts on life on twitter. enjoy!}

Hello everybody! My name is Nena. I am a 20-year-old Sociology major/ German Language minor who has a thirst for good tunes and for being active. When the beautiful and lovely Robin asked me to be a guest writer on her rad blog, I was beyond stoked. To top it off, she asked me to write about my two favorite topics in the universe: music and working out (or well, more specifically, music to listen to while working out).

There is no doubt in my mind having the perfect playlist can immensely improve your workout . Listening to upbeat music has been proven to motivate you to put in more effort, it keeps you focused and a good beat can really help you keep a steady pace. I find that the playlist people listen to while they get their sweat-on can be a very personal thing. Everyone likes a variety of different genres and I've found that different songs work differently for the type of work out as well.

The playlist I have crafted for you today is categorized for the different stages of a good full body workout, including a warm-up, cardio, lifting and a cool down. I tried to mix up the genres and keep it fresh 2 death to tickle the fancy of all of you fit readers (Did I mention your ass looks great? Must be all those stairs you did listening to awesome jams eh?) Also I’m just going to do a shameless plug here and say all the tunes are soundcloud links. Soundcloud is seriously (in my opinion) the best listening/streaming site out there. If you make an account here you can make your own playlist or follow this 1-hour Get Sweaty Playlist that I made specifically for this post! Okay - now down to the nitty gritty (and sweaty?)!

warm up

Latch (Disclosure) - the lovely voice of Sam Smith and the endless talent of the 2 Disclosure brothers never fails to get me ready for a killer sweat.

cardio

Sunshower (Rusko) - annnnnd now its time to get in a groove. Falling into step with this fresh off the press Rusko track is like second nature.

Green Gardens (Djemba Djemba) - this remix of a great original makes for a great cardio pusher

Girls (The 1975) - changing the pace with some good British rock boys and a dance jam can get me motivated like no other

Inspector Norse (Todd Terje) - nu-Disco has this way of getting me into a cardio trance.

Go (Grimes) - Grimes and Blood Diamonds wrote this jam for Rhianna who turned it down and I cant imagine why ?!!?!?! The trap break down can get anyone goin 3hunnit.

All Good (Av Av Av) - keep on going with the smooth as butter track by Av Av Av will have you running longer than you ever thought you could

Feel of Love (i-D) - feel the love. The love of the feeling of pushing your body to the limits.

Cloudy (Feel so Real) - the endless groove you’ll be in after this jam will have you wanting to keep going FOREVER!

lifting

Push 'Em Up (Boyz Noize) - PUSH UP THOSE WEIGHTS. I KNOW YOU CAN DO ONE MORE.

Fancy Remix (Iggy Azalea) - hard twist on the song of the summer to get you lifting more than you ever thought you could

Affection (Crystal Castles) - trap remix of the year. Hits hard and so do you

Rock U Tonite (Wave Racer) - the synth drop for ultimate motivation

Shabba (A$AP Ferg) - the bass beats got you like “do you even lift bro?

Gibberi$h (Zooly) - ~LETS GO~ this track hits harder than any weight out there. FINISH OFF STRONG.

cool down

As We Strive (TWOS) - wow good work out! You were really striving for greatness *high five*

Amazing workout! Find the Get Sweaty Playlist on Soundcloud.

Huge thanks to Robin for featuring me today! Hopefully I'll be back with another playlist soon! 

The Blogmopolitan Quiz Part 3

I'm linking up again with Two Thirds Hazel for pretty much the coolest link-up imaginable. I tried to fill this one out as fast as possible because I typically put waaay too much thought into these things! So fun!

things learned

today I am 23 years old. although I definitely don't want to be one of those people who gripes about being old while still in my early twenties, I feel a little freaked out by 23. I know for a long time, I thought I'd have my life all figured out by 23. but I don't. I don't really have anything figured out, but I have learned a lot of things, especially over the past year.

A Starbucks birthday cake pop is the best way to celebrate.

while I may go into 23 still telling people that I'm 21, here are 22 things I learned about myself, relationships, and life while I was 22.

one: it's okay to say no, and to express what you really want.

two: and a follow up to number one, it's okay to not know what you're doing with your life, and it's okay to say that out loud [still learning this one]

three: moisturizing your skin is the most important thing in the world. or, well, it's up there.

four: love doesn't always work out. this was probably the hardest lesson I've learned over the past year, but also one of the most valuable.

five: I am a girly-girl. I think for a long time I tried to think I was "one of the guys," but I finally learned this year that a) I am not "one of the guys" and b) it's okay to be girly.

six: feminism is not about female supremacy. I think this past year, I learned that I am a feminist.

seven: being an auntie is the best thing in the whole wide world.

eight: it's okay to not be okay.

nine: being strong doesn't mean you're not hurting. it means that you can face your hurt with bravery.

ten: sometimes champagne is the answer:

eleven: people watching is sometimes the best way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

twelve: Dr. Seuss is pretty much the best philosopher in the world.

thirteen: sometimes you don't know what you like or don't like until you try it. so try it.

fourteen: you won't meet your future Mr or Mrs Right on some dating app. you'll need to download and delete the app several hundred times before you realize this.

fifteen: it's important to never stop learning.

sixteen: be yourself. the truth about who you are will always come out, so you may as well be you from the start.

seventeen: it's okay to keep reading seventeen magazine. but it's also okay to exchange it for a cosmo. you do you.

eighteen: that thing that you waste all of your time doing? it's not time wasted. it's what you should be doing.

nineteen: in the end, things won't matter. invest in relationships, not retail. (wow, I'm deep)

twenty: going to bed early is AWESOME.

twenty-one: Beyonce, hot chocolate and a good book are usually a good cure for anything.

twenty-two: learning to love yourself is the hardest thing you may ever do. but it's also the most important.

there's my list! what are some of your life lessons?

xoxo

there are 5 blogs that I faithfully check every single day for new content. one of these is the fairy princess dairies (check it out! it's fun and fabulous). jordyn, the author, constantly raves about being obsessed with gossip girl. a few weeks ago, I was home sick from work for two days and decided finally to cave and get netflix. and I decided to start my netflix addiction by binge watching gossip girl.

and I am OBSESSED.

to be honest, the first few episodes had me feeling pretty meh. I actually told my roommate that it was the dumbest show I'd ever seen and that I hated all of the characters. she left for work, and when she got back 8 hours later I was flipping out about how obsessed I was and how crazy it is. 

I've just finished season two and I have three main thoughts:

one: I have to add Blake Lively to my girl crush list. she's probably number two at this point. I feel like she is made of sparkles, joy and sunshine.

two: I am ashamed of how much I am like Blair Waldorf. I totally have a love-hate with her, and I'm [hopefully] not as plotting/manipulative/crazy as her... but I feel like I understand her pretty well. I hate to say it, but it's true. She frequently says things that match things I've said/thought. Here are two:

three: in a lot of ways, even though GG is totally over the top and ridiculous, the characters (however hateable) all reveal very true things about the world. like how true is this:

okay am I being crazy? you know you love me. xoxo, R

pick-me-up

you know those days when you're just feeling down?

I hate those days. they've been more frequent lately, with the whole breakup and all. you know the days. the days where you watch Crazy Stupid Love and lose it at your tv because if Steve Carrell can find love, why can't you? the days where everyone is busy, and you've had too much "alone time." the days where you feel bored and listless and just sort of low.

well! I have a list of my favourite ways to beat the low-days.

exercise. boost those endorphins! go for a ten minute walk, do some Zumba or hit a yoga class. no matter how you do it, make sure you do it for at least ten minutes. exercise is shown to decrease mental illness extraordinarily well, so it can also decrease the crappy-day-blues.

do something you love. which sounds obvious, but baking a cake, blogging or organizing your tool shed will distract you from whatever is making you feel low, give a sense of purpose and will also make you happy.

let someone know. telling someone that you're feeling like crap can be really therapeutic! it's like getting someone on your side, and it can also provide a fresh perspective.

take a shower. okay, this might be me-specific. when I'm sad/angry I really love to take a shower. it's my own personal space where I can think, cry and sing. plus, you come out smelling better than before.

remind yourself that it's not forever. you will eventually feel happy again. if it becomes something that lasts a significant amount of time, it might be worth discussing with your doctor or a psychologist. and in the meantime, there's always this song:

coffee date

let's have a coffee date. you + me. right now. 

why? because I have something personal on my heart, and it's easier to share something personal when you've got a hot chai tea latte or iced caramel macchiato in your hands.

do you ever just get the explicit feeling that you have no idea who you are? sure, if someone asks, you can give a list of the things you enjoy (starbucks, movies, psychology) and the things you do (work, watch movies, study), but can you really tell someone who you are? is that because you don't know who you are, or because it's far more complex than you can share in words?

I think it can be both. but even when I'm alone with my thoughts, I still don't really know who I am. I don't know what makes me special, or what my purpose in life is. I feel so much anxiety when someone says "tell me about yourself" that I often just ramble on and on and make no sense whatsoever.

I want to say yes to finding myself and yes to my adventure... but where do I even start? 

the friendzone

Today, I want to talk about an issue that annoys the crap out of me: the concept of the friendzone.

Imagine that Harry really likes Sally. Sally is not interested in Harry, but she appreciates having him as a friend. Harry becomes determined to win Sally's affections, and is the nicest, sweetest and kindest he can possibly be towards her. Still, Sally is uninterested in Harry in that way. He begins to smother her with affection, and Sally pushes Harry away. Harry's friends laugh at him and point out that Sally has totally "friend-zoned" him - Harry cannot believe that girls are only interested in bad boys and would never be interested in a nice guy like him! Sally is suuuch a bitch!

As if because Harry is a nice guy, Sally owes it to him to no longer consider him "just a friend." The friend zone is some made up construct for people to deal with the fact that someone else does not have feelings for them. Plain and simple - someone is not a jerk for not wanting to date you. We've turned Sally into a bad person because she doesn't want to date Harry even though he's a nice guy!? We're ignoring the actual reasons that Sally isn't interested in Harry - she's not attracted to him, doesn't feel anything beyond friendship for him + has feelings for whatshisname.

This concept is dangerous, and the media perpetuates it. We see so many countless movies where one person has major, unreciprocated feelings for someone else... and at the end, the other person magically has a change of heart.

Obviously, there are situations where a friendship can blossom into more. Where friends-feelings can change into more than friends-feelings.

But, bottom line: if you're being friends with someone simply because you hope to eventually date or have sex with them, you're the jerk.

workout must haves

I'm not going to look like a frump when I'm working out, and that's that. I'm much less likely to get moving if I feel less-than-pretty while doing it. Solution? Cute workout clothing.

cute waterbottle - comfy shorts - warm zip-up - cushioned shoes - pretty gym bag

Those are my must-haves. What are yours?

take a look

I saw this video yesterday, and it moved me so much - I even cried a little bit.

I know the concept of this video is a little strange... but the idea is liberating and sweet. These women faced their vagina fears and started the process of loving and accepting their whole bodies. These women were so brave to share such an intimate and deep moment with the internet.

Love it. Sex positivity makes me so smiley.

re:new

sometimes we need a fresh start.

sometimes, the best thing we can do for ourselves is to start over.

over the past few years, I have changed so much. I've lost my religion, finished my degree, become a feminist, gained and lost friends, relationships and jobs. My mental health has fluctuated just as much as my life has over the past few years. Sometimes, even in between a few days I can go from feeling 100% fantastic to 100% not-so-shiny.

Often, it makes me feel better to drop whatever I'm working on and to just have a fresh start - or at least to take a moment to lean back and look at what I'm doing. I need to see how things could be better, and it's pretty dang hard to do that during a panic attack or during high stress moments.Change is good. Change is challenging, but change is good. It's good for your mental health to rethink things sometimes. :)

As you can see, I've changed some things here on the blog. Definitely be expecting more changes - this mini facelift on the blog is just another example of taking a step back and seeing how things could be better.

favourites

here's a little friday fun! my five favourite cheerful places to look at when I've got free time or need a laugh!

1. #myfriendsaremarried - omg, this is seriously the funniest tumblr. as a single girl with a lot of married friends, this blog is basically constantly reading my mind.

2. ps.heart - this blog is a) incredibly beautiful b) written by two beautiful lovlies and c) my inspiration when I can't find my creativity. check it out!

3. anna akana - I love Anna's thoughts on life. she's smart, funny and a feminist. she's recently exploring making short films and I'm loving all of her twisted creativity.

4. fitsugar - way to make fitness look glam, fun and fabulous! I love reading articles on here. it motivates me and keeps me interested.

5. sexplanations - Dr. Doe, a sexologist that I adore (and pretty much want to be when I grow up!!), explains sex concepts in a clear, frank way - plus she's hilarious and goofy.

share the love - tell me what your favourite cheerful websites are!

visited

As you may have noticed, I haven't posted for a week - I was on vacation visiting my family in BC. I chose not to pre-prepare blog entries because I literally had no time to sit down and plan things out in the week before I left, and I didn't want to just throw together a post for the sake of posting. But I'll be back to regular content on Monday.

This was a really special trip to me because it was the first time I got to meet my nephew + godson Jacob. He is so sweet and I love him so much! I'm already missing him and his cuddles like crazy! Here are a few snaps of my little visit to the tiny, rainy town I come from.

how to get up early to work out

I am SOO not a morning person. At all. Buuut... I much prefer being finished my workout early in the day so that I can have fun in the evening. Getting up before work to work out has proven to be incredibly challenging. So here is how to get up early to fit in a work out in 15 easy steps.

1. set around 500 alarms the night before.

2. tell your roommate to call you at 5:45 am so that you really can't avoid the workout

3. argue with your roommate about why she should get up at the crack of dawn just to make sure that you do.

4. learn to deal with the fact that you're an adult and have to be responsible for your own wake up times.

5. go to bed really, really early. so you can get up at the earliest time of day and feel energized and ready.

6. Lay in bed for 45 minutes wishing you could fall asleep.

7. Watch 3 episodes of Sex and the City since you can't sleep anyways. Start drifting off as you contemplate whether you love or hate Miranda.

8. Wake up to your first of 500 alarms. Turn off all of your alarms because you're sooo going to get out of...

9. Wake up an hour later and realize you totally haven't made it out of bed yet. If you get up now, you can still fit in a 45 minute Zumba video before work.

10. Bargain with yourself for fifteen minutes. If you just get up and go for a light jog for 30 minutes, you can totally have the full-fat latte at Starbucks.

11. Holy crap, now you've only got half an hour. If you really think about it, you can only work out for 20 minutes because you have to get ready for work after and you really don't want to be late.

12. Maybe you can fit in a quick power walk. You did wake up early, after all.

13. Nah. Decide that if you just eat healthy for the day and try to walk a lot while at work, you can skip the work out.

14. Sleep for 15 extra minutes.

15. Have the full-fat latte at Starbucks anyways. Decide you'll start tomorrow because "Thursdays are a better day to start a fitness/diet regimen anyways."

stressed out

This week, I've been experiencing an anxiety flare up.

Which is weird, considering I'm finished school and a lot of my projects are wrapping up. In a lot of ways I have nothing to be stressed about.

I saw this TEDx talk a few days ago, and thought it was soo insightful! the concept of anxiety preparing us to deal with the worst is honestly such a beautiful way of looking at it. what do you think? could you and stress be friends?

fairtrade beauty finds

social justice and human rights are incredibly important to me. one way I've tried to make a difference is via Fairtrade - a trade justice system that ensures farmers get paid fair wages, have safe working conditions and that the environment is respected (look for the green/blue symbol!).

Okay, this picture is a little outdated...

I'm all about Fairtrade coffee, tea, sugar and chocolate, and recently I've been exploring Fairtrade beauty items!

This sugar scrub is seriously incredible. It leaves your skin feeling SO soft and it smells amazing. Within one use, it became one of my favourite beauty products. It's also made in Vancouver, so it's great to be supporting small, local businesses!

This Fairtrade shea butter lip balm from Ten Thousand Villages pretty much instantly heals up your lips. It feels so smooth - and my lips were noticeably better within a few hours.

This Fairtrade foot lotion is my go-to solution in the winter. It'll leave your feet feeling happy even in those sad, dry winter months - and it smells lovely!

So there you have it - my [current] Fairtrade beauty favourites. This is one thing I'm always on the look out for - so if you have any favourites please let me know!!

reward

Kind of embarrassingly, I respond to reward/punishment systems really well.

When I was a student (all of those many days ago), I constantly had to reward myself for successfully studying. If I studied hard for an hour, I could watch a 20-minute episode of Family Guy. If I wrote a page of a research paper, I could watch a few YouTube videos. You know. I'm basically Skinner's pet.

It's kind of the same thing for weight-loss for me - every five pounds, I reward myself with a non-food gift of at least $25. If I work out 6 days a week, I get a little me-time (aka - nail polish, at-home-facial, hair mask, etc). If I eat healthy for 6.5 days a week, I get a cheat-night where I don't have to count calories and it's all guilt free.

Right now I'm working towards this eyeliner from MAC.

How do you motivate yourself to keep it up?

ENFP Confessions #6

I've said it a billion times: I love people. Most of the time I think this is my favourite thing about myself and my greatest strength.

I care about people instantly, and I have a really hard time having acquaintances - I want to be friends with everyone. I love people's stories and I love getting to know people on a deeper level.

While this is a huge benefit to being an ENFP, in a lot of ways it is exhausting and challenging. This became the height of exhausting and challenging in this break up that I'm going through. Being in love was a strange experience.

For me, what set apart loving someone and being in love with someone was an unconditional trust. Obviously, I'm still early in the break up process, but I kind of think that being in love is being bonded with someone for life. At least for this ENFP. Trusting someone on that level pieces them into your identity and soul. It's magnificent and terrifying all at once. And I don't think that just goes away. Maybe Hopefully it changes in time, but I can't imagine it ever going away. Being in love may always be a part of who I am.

This might be an experience shared by all of MBTI, but I think it's a bit of an ENFP thing. Loving people is such an important part of my life, loving people defines me. I can't imagine un-loving anyone. Loving someone is forever... right?

panic attack

have you ever had a panic attack? the fear sets in and suddenly your heart rate is through the roof. as you try to calm down, your palms become sweaty and you can't really concentrate - except, at the same time you're fixating and sliding down the rabbit hole into a panic-stupor. you're overthinking, your muscles feel weird, your stomach starts to hurt and you have a hard time carrying on a conversation.

in my personal experience, at this point things can go one of two ways: you have a panic attack, or you successfully calm yourself.

before you're breathing into a paper bag (does anyone really do this??) and having a major panic attack, there are definitely a few things you can do to calm down - or to help calm down a friend!

for me, the last thing I want to hear is stay calm or relax. obviously, if I could, I would. the biggest thing that works for me is distraction. if I'm with someone else I'll ask them to tell me some story about their life, and if I'm alone I'll try to find something to read or listen to. novelty really helps here.

as obvious as it sounds, deep breathing is your best friend in a panic attack situation. you need to let your nervous system know that the fight or flight panic response is not needed. the best way to do this is by behaving in a calm way: deep breathing, not allowing your thoughts to race (take control! write things down - you won't be able to write as quickly as your thoughts are going) and stretching are all ways to inhibit that fight or flight response.

the deep breathing exercise that works for me has always been inhale for 4 counts, hold for 3 counts, exhale for 5 counts. that will slow everything down (and concentrating on the counts will distract you!)

if you have passed the threshold into the having-a-panic-attack mode, let it run its course. do your best to calm down with deep breathing, and if you're with someone let them know where you're at. it might feel like you're having a heart attack and about to die, but gently remind yourself that you're not going to die and it will eventually die down. be kind to yourself + don't blame yourself. most people will have a panic attack in the course of their lifetime, so you are not alone.

how do you deal with panic attacks?

how to survive a breakup

it's pretty weird how one day, someone is your everything, and the next day you're not really allowed to talk to them. In the span of a 20 minute conversation, everything changes: this person that once consumed your thoughts, future plans and so much of your time is no longer a part of your life. Isn't that weird?

break ups really, really suck. This is not my first rodeo, so I know how to beat get through the break-up blues. Through the first few days, you gotta give yourself time to mourn. Eat, cry, be angry, have bellinis, watch movies, cry some more, eat more, read books, cry even more. Stay in bed for the whole day. I also like to sprinkle cleaning and self-care into the first few days. Cleaning because it's easy to basically burn your whole house down in the process of hating the universe. Self-care because it's easy to basically burn your whole body down in the process of hating the universe. Get some exercise, give yourself a facial, paint your nails. Whatever makes you happy. After those first few days, put on some real pants leggings and face the world. Order the full fat drink at starbucks, spend time with friends and carry on with your life. You'll still be incredibly sad, you'll still be hurting - but you've gotta actively try to love yourself and heal.

there's no real timeline here, but when you're ready, your mind will automatically enter phase 3 of the break up - it doesn't really hurt anymore, you're not plagued by sadness + you're mostly all healed up.

to me the hardest part of a breakup is correcting that mental routine of thinking about your ex-partner. For the past three years, I've only really thought about one person - it's really tough to convince your brain to not think about that person! but like any habit, over time it becomes a lot easier. The other hard part of a break up, for me, is allowing myself to experience the sadness, the hurt and all of the other emotions associated with break ups. I put such a big pressure on myself to "just be okay" because I think that's what others want from me. But this time, I'm trying pretty hard to let myself experience all of the crappy stuff because I really think that's the best way to heal after this kind of hurt.

remember who you are. That's the most important thing. You're worth so much and you deserve the best. 

new things

Okay, I love trying new things. Especially new makeup and beauty products... but sometimes, it can be a little bit intimidating because you don't want to spend eight billion dollars to try a product that turns out to completely suck! [this is why I'm obsessed with getting sample sized products!]

In April, I tried a few new beauty products and I thought I would write about my experience with them here.

scrub your nose in it
okay, as TMI as this may be, I have huge pores. I'm not sure why or how this happened, but when I saw that this scrub reduces pore size, I had to try it out! It was a little bit on the expensive side, but so far I've really liked this product. I actually have noticed a reduction in my pore size and my skin has been so much softer! it also smells amazing. definitely worth trying if you are looking for a new scrub!

they're real
to be honest, I don't know what I think of this product. I'd read on a lot of other blogs that it was awesome, but I've found it to be a bit of a letdown. It works, but it's a bit clumpy and a bit heavy and my makeup remover has a hard time taking it off. I also only wear it when I'm going out in the evening as it always feels like a little much for work - although I'm not sure why.

watts up
I am OBSESSED with this product! it's my first highlighter and it gives just the right amount of sparkle and shine without being too overwhelming. this is my favourite thing to put on if I'm having a blah day and I want to lighten up. it's seriously fantastic.

remotivate

About a year ago, I hit an incredible milestone. I had lost 100 pounds. I didn't use any programs, any diet pills or any juice cleanses. It was just me + myfitnesspal + paying close attention to what I was eating... and, obviously, exercise.

This was a huge accomplishment, and I was incredibly proud. It took me about a year and two months.

When school got out that spring, and I no longer had random gaps in my schedule, it became harder to go to the gym. I was also working more, which meant that I could afford to eat out more often. In addition to that, my anxiety began to grow (for seemingly no reason) and food became a comfort source once again for me. The pounds began to creep back up on me, and by the end of the summer I had put on about 40 pounds. That's TEN pounds a month.

When school started again in September, I committed to taking better care of myself again, but it became harder and harder as much anxiety blew itself completely out of control. Over the 8 months of school that just passed, I gained about 30 pounds. Which means I've gained 70 of that 100 pounds back - and I hate it. I want to get back into it. I'm in a wedding in August and I want to be happy to be in wedding pictures, not ashamed and hiding behind others.

So I've re-started my journey yesterday - it's hard because I'm going through a breakup and I'm broke. But there will always be excuses and I can't let that get in my way! Soooo... I've decided to start another series on my blog! /Weightloss/Workout Wednesdays! And today's post is about my three favourite ways to motivate yourself to work out.

Find a buddy: working out with friends, for me, means that a) I'll actually go to the gym and b) that I get to have fun while working out! I think it's been shown that working out with friends can really improve one's fitness.

Get some great music: I cannot do cardio without music. Right now, my go-to workout music includes Stars Dance (Selena Gomez), Fancy (Iggy Azalea) and Grown Woman (Beyonce).

Use an app: I use myfitnesspal (find me! my username is robineyy). It's an awesome, user-friendly app and website. It also syncs up with a Fitbit or newly a Jawbone Up (and I'm thinking of getting one!). It's great to have an online weight loss community to keep you accountable and it's also great to have as a guide for food and fitness.

So those are my re-motivation tips! What are yours?

currently

a fun list of the things I currently can't get enough of

[watching] Game of Thrones. This season has been incredible!

[reading] Lean In for Graduates. Sheryl Sandberg has some incredibly insightful thoughts.

[listening] to Dreams by Boots + Beyonce. So so so addicted.

[making] a schedule for my blog posts for the month of May! Exciting things coming!

[feeling] a little lost, confused, sad, excited and relieved. Lots of stuff going on. 

[planning] fun things to do when I visit my home town later this month!

this is the plan!

[loving] my amazing coworkers. 

some of my crazy aforementioned coworkers 

chill out!

I am SO excited to introduce a new series on my blog: mental health mondays! Like most of my ideas, this one came to me in the shower - I've been so excited + planning ever since! I'm starting off the series with my favourite ways to beat anxiety in the springtime!

As all y'all know, I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and in general struggle with anxiety during the day-to-day. I think a lot of people deal with anxiety and in a lot of ways our society tells us that we need to perform + be at a standard that isn't really achievable. This creates so much stress and anxiety, and the problem is cyclical: the more anxious we become, the more our performance suffers, so we become even more anxious. We become anxious about controlling our anxiety (or at least I do!) and ensuring that we don't seem anxious. One awesome way to beat this cycle is to [essentially] take a time-out. Doing whatever you love is going to make everything a little bit easier. These are some of my favourite ways to take a time-out during those high anxiety times.

If you have five minutes: When I only have a short period of time to calm the hell down, I pour myself a large glass of water, listen to my favourite song + give myself a temple massage or practice deep breathing. I won't do any work or talk to anyone for the duration of the song and just focus on calming down and taking care of myself. Some mini-me-time.

If you have half an hour: When I have a real break, there are a few different de-stressers I like to hit up. Taking a quick, brisk walk really ups the endorphins and makes me feel better. Sometimes I'll watch a 20-minute episode of a tv show if I really need to be mindless. Other times I'll call one of my besties or my mom and get a quick pep-talk. It's ideal to find something that will distract you from the anxiety, and also get some happy-hormones flowing. Connecting with others, laughing at the Mindy Project + getting exercise are all great and non-time-consuming ways to do this!

If you have a few hours: When I have a free evening or a few free hours (especially if it's been a really high-anxiety day) I will hit up a hot yoga class. Yoga has been scientifically proven to ease anxiety - yoga stimulattes the vagus nerve. Calming down that flight or fight response is what really works to ease anxiety (more info here). If I don't have the $$, I'll practice a few simple positions at home and focus largely on deep-breathing. When I'm at home (in BC), a long walk by the ocean is another chilling-out favourite. Alternatively, if I'm super wiped out, I'll light a candle and watch a movie or read a book. Just taking that down time can really help with the "high anxiety exhaustion." 

Starbucks is always my fave back-up plan on stressful, busy days.

I'm so thrilled to be posting this first mental health monday post! if you have a topic you'd like me to write on for a mental health monday, tell me in the comments below! what are your favourite ways to deal with anxiety? I can't wait to announce more exciting changes for On the Shoreline - coming soon! 

graduation + studenthood

Yep. Finished my degree. Convocation is on June 10th! And it's just starting to set in - a few days ago, I got home from work and turned on the tv. After mindlessly flipping through channels for awhile, I realized that I should probably be more productive. I turned off the tv, and sat down at my desk... only to realize that I have nothing to do. No homework. No readings. No papers.

It feels pretty great. Also a few days ago, I was filling out some kind of form/survey. I got to the question "how much education have you completed?" and for the first time could answer "Bachelors Degree" instead of "some college" (whatever that means).

It does make me think, however, that being a student has been a part of my identity for such a very long time. I've been a student for about 17 years - and I've only been alive for 22! But I'm excited to see what non-student life is like. Once I get past the post-exams-12-hours-of-sleep-per-night phase.

I'll miss this guy!

change

Today, I finished my undergraduate degree. What a crazy feeling! I have been a student at the ualberta for 5 years - it's such a crazy time for change. I'm also going through a break up, getting involved at a new job, exploring new volunteer opportunities and trying new creativity projects. What a weird time in my life. Things feel out of control and stressful, but also exciting and energizing.

I know it's been a solid while since I've blogged. Firstly, I want to say thank you so much to everyone who reached out to me after my last post. Secondly, it was hard to imagine writing another post after a post that vulnerable. It's not like I could just pop in an ENFP confession and pretend I hadn't just bared my soul to all of the internet. But now that school is out and my life is going in a new direction, I'm hoping to find the time to blog more often - and maybe to give my blog a bit of a makeover & a new direction.

I just wanted to share these little updates, but also I wanted to have an excuse to sign my name:

Much love,

Robin Hansen, B.Sc.

on anxiety

A few months ago, a friend of mine uploaded a picture of herself on instagram and included a long paragraph about her mental health status. This inspired me to write a post about my anxiety problems - I think it's so important for open and honest communication. These things will help erase the negative stigma surrounding mental health and can make it easier for others to reach out for help.

Having said that, I've written and rewritten this post a billion times. It's so hard to talk about and I wanted it to be perfect. Which is ironic, when you consider the source of my mental health issues.
But here I am, writing a post about my mental health. This isn't easy, but I just wanna share where I'm at.

I've known for awhile that I have an anxiety disorder. A few years ago I was sexually assaulted and I spiraled into a dizzy, exhausting few weeks of excruciating anxiety. I had panic attack after panic attack. Although this wasn't my first encounter with anxiety, this was the first time I'd felt like it was unmanageable. So I went to counselling - and sure enough. Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).

So over the past few years I've had ups and downs with my anxiety - learning that I had an anxiety disorder was liberating. I met others who had anxiety spectrum issues, and I learned how to manage anxiety.

I began exploring where I think my anxiety started. I think it started in childhood, as so many things do. I've always put such a massive pressure on myself to be perfect. When you look at me as a person, you probably wouldn't notice that I'm a perfectionist. And I'm probably not, by traditional definitions. But I have this massive, unhealthy desire for everyone to think I'm perfect. I feel like my worth comes from how close to perfect I am.

Over the last few months, as I've been exploring life outside of Christianity, I've also come up to a massive identity crisis. If I'm not a Christian, which was previously the only thing I would use to define myself, then who am I? Add that crisis to the hardest academic year I've ever had and some issues in some personal relationships... you see where this is going!

In December, I had the most overwhelming mental breakdown of my life. I felt like everything was meaningless, I was worthless and I felt so so SO stressed out by my life. I became a bit of a zombie through exams and then went home for Christmas. And I continued to have panic attacks over the holiday.

When I came back in January, I knew I needed to head back to counselling. And so I have. And I am on the path to managing my anxiety. I think anxiety is part of the human experience - I doubt very much that I will ever be completely anxiety free. But I am in control of my anxiety, not the other way around.

Probably should have been anxious to be sitting 1500 feet above Chicago!

Blogmopolitan Quiz 2

I was so excited to find out that Erin had done another Blogmopolitan Quiz! So much fun to feel like a celebrity. I'm basically Beyonce. Right?

(you can click on it to make it larger)

So much fun!

ualberta class review

It's reading break! yay! That means I'm halfway through my last semester at the University of Alberta. Woah. That's insane.

Although I would definitely argue that I've learned a lot more through non-academic university experiences (student groups, who I am as a person, student governance, how I react to stress, etc), the last five years of my life have been filled with some really great classes and instructors - so here's a list of my favourites.

First Year Classes

Medical Microbiology & Immunology 133: I had super low expectations going into this class. I'd been aware that I loved pathology for a long time, but I wasn't prepared for how much I was going to enjoy an entire class spent on human disease. LOVED it. The prof, Judy Gnarpe, totally made the class. I think this was my absolute favourite first year class.

Psychology 104/105: To be honest, most 100-level classes are not so fun. They're really broad and the general science ones were incredibly boring most of the time. And even though psych 104 and 105 were not an exception to this, these classes convinced me to change my major from biology to psychology. This, obviously, was quite the life-changing decision.

Second Year Classes

Anatomy 200: This was an incredible class. The prof, Dr. David Begg, was one of the most incredible profs I've ever had. He inspired me to pursue what I love in life instead of what I think is expected of me. Also, the class is super fun. Hard average? Yes. Hilarious sex jokes from a professional anatomist? Also yes. I mean, I've always been a bit of a macro-physio nerd so this class was right up my alley!

Psychology 233: Personality psych is by far the most fun of all the psychs. As y'all know, I'm pretty obsessed with personality theories, so this class was fantastic for me. I think the number is different now though. Seriously the best second year class I took by far. And I also took it with my favourite prof ever, Jennifer Passey, and her sass made the class even more enjoyable.

Psychology 275: Brain and behaviour was one of the most fun classes I've ever taken. It piqued my interest in neuroscience and physiology. I definitely recommend it if you're sort of interested in the brain or in where human behaviour really comes from. I also recommend that you take it with a Singhall. :)

Third Year Classes

Biology 321: Despite the fact that biology is my minor, there isn't much of it on this list. Mechanisms of Evolution, however, was the most fun bio class I've ever taken. The prof, Heather Proctor, was hilarious, smart and captivating. I loved this class - AND there's no lab. Praise.

Pharmacology 305: This class might have been the most fascinating class I've ever taken. Titled drugs of abuse, this class studied the mechanisms of addiction. I felt like throughout the class I was making a mental list of drugs I would try and drugs that I most certainly would not try. This class was really hard, but definitely worth the mental effort. Our prof (Martin Davies) was hilarious and the subject matter was obviously pretty interesting.

Psychology 305 (Special Topics): Social Influence. This class actually takes the cake as the very, very best class of my degree. It was fascinating and fun and I feel like I learned so much about how marketing works. Honestly, I didn't ever skip this class because I didn't want to miss a thing (and that says a lot because I am an avid class skipper). You wouldn't believe the way we influence each other - and sometimes don't even realize it. Everyone should take this class. Of course, it was taught by my absolute favourite professor Jennifer Passey. Seriously. Take this class.

Psychology 339: Abnormal psych is every psych student's pride and joy. So much fun - it's all stuff you actually want to remember. Symptoms of this class include walking around like you can diagnose any person's oddities and deciding that you have a new disorder every week.

Psychology 365: Advanced perception blew my mind. It's like proving that your whole life is one big optical illusion. It was really fun, really interesting and the prof, Karsten Loepelmann was one of my very favourites. In fact, I purposely took all of the classes he taught because I liked him so much. I recommend this class to everyone - but it is certainly not easy!

Psychology 375: As a follow up on the second year brain and behaviour class, this class dives into cognitive neuroscience. I learned SO MUCH in this class and I didn't even realize it. It's definitely not an easy class but Dr. Jeremy Caplan is one of the best professors that ualberta has on staff. This class sparked my interest in research and allowed me to explore my interest in normal brain function.

Psychology 377: And how could I put 375 on this list without mentioning its sister course? This class provided an in-depth look at the neuro side of brain dysfunction and disorder. It had a really cool component where we got to watch a movie about a psych disorder and then write a paper on it. This was a fantastic class.

Fourth Year Classes

Psychology 403 (Special Topics): This class provided an in-depth look at the neuroscience of memory. This class makes the list for three reasons: 1. The content was incredible and fascinating. 2. The prof, Dr. Jeremy Caplan, is on my list of favourite instructors. He cares so much about students and the material and that really makes all the difference. 3. This class was organized in such a way that it may have prepared all of us for graduate school. Also, in this class, I became convinced that I might have an over-sized amygdala. If I ever get an fMRI done I'll let y'all know.

Psychology 403 (Special Topics): I'm currently taking this class - we basically get an in-depth look at different therapies and get to practice on each other. It's so much fun and our prof (Roy Frenzel) is a clinical psychologist so we get to learn so much from him. This class is helping me to revisit my "diagnose everybody" phase - except this time I'm diagnosing everybody's conversational style with a different form of therapy. It's also prep for grad school, like the other 403, but the counselling kind, instead of the neuroscience kind.

Psychology 494: I took ergonomics because it was taught by Karsten Loepelmann, and when I signed up for this class, I didn't even know what ergonomics were... and I came out of this class judging the design of everything everywhere. This class was about studying how to create things for human use. Despite the fact that we spent a little too much time talking about plane crashes (anxiety, anyone?), this class was extremely interesting and way more fun than I'd ever guessed it would be.

You made it to the end of my list! Sorry for the cray-cray long post. So you tell me - what have your favourite classes been?

cold

For a long while now I've been struggling with Christianity. Although I haven't talked much about it, it's been at least a year that I've been really struggling with the big questions. Could there really be a Heaven? Does prayer really work? Does God even exist? If yes, why are we sure Christianity is the answer?
This has been a really hard struggle for me... Previously, Christianity was my identity & my everything. Exploring life outside of that has been exciting, traumatic and exhausting. But I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be right now and the journey that I'm supposed to be on. While I could talk about that for hours (and probably reach no better conclusion), the doubt and exploration aren't why I'm writing this post.
I've always been the kind of person to have a lot of close personal relationships, but until I began questioning my religious beliefs it had never occurred to me that so many of my relationships were based on my faith.
When my exploration of life outside of Christianity began, I immediately felt separated from so many people who I would have considered to be my closest friends. For awhile, I wondered if it was just in my head. I wondered if I was the one creating those boundaries to protect myself from being swayed back into the faith. Being that I've always found it challenging to share my deep struggles with even my closest friends, I thought this was another example of that. So I made it a new years resolution to myself to reach out to my Christian girlfriends and try to reconnect - particularly the seven that I'd had the closest relationships with.
I met up with one friend in January, and shared these thoughts with her. She assured me wholeheartedly that my disenchantment with Christianity would/should have no effect on my relationships. She told me that I would always be welcome & valued. And I believed her.
Fast forward to this weekend. One of the seven girlfriends invited everyone to get together and pray for another of the seven. Instantly, I felt conflicted. I love these girls. So wholeheartedly. And I want to support them in any way that I can. But being that I've been reluctant to share my struggle with Christianity, I was immediately concerned that they would expect me to be a certain way. Prayerful, to put a word on it. And I have been prayerful as I've explored my journey. Not always perfectly, and not always directed at a Christian God exactly, but prayerful. But I don't know what I think of prayer and it's kind of a strange area for me right now. So I was conflicted.
I texted two of the seven girlfriends to ask for their advice. I can't really even share how hard it was for me to take that step of vulnerability and be honest about where I was on the prayer situation. I guess I kind of expected them to tell me to come to show my support anyways. What I got (from both of them) was literally the opposite.

They both told me not to come.

In nicer words, of course, but it was still just as hurtful. One actually said that for prayer to be effective, everyone present had to be in agreement... I'm sorry - since when can an all powerful God only answer prayers if everyone in the room believes in Him? It is not like I disagreed with the reasons for the prayer either...  I feel like promising that you're not trying to be offensive doesn't make your statement unoffensive and doesn't give you free reign to be offensive. These friends answered my vulnerability with rejection.
I guess I feel somewhat lost and abandoned. Am I being a drama queen? Or were their actions cold, as I'm interpreting them to be?

ENFP Confessions #5

For my birthday last year, a really good friend of mine bought me a very cool present (she wrote this post!). It's a journal that asks you a question every day for a year - and there is space for five years. I don't know if I explained that right.

A few days ago, on February 6th, to be exact, the question was Are you seeking excitement or contentment? And I had a REALLY hard time with the answer for a little while. But the reason this post is an ENFP confession is because I'm going to talk a little about that little P (perceiving) at the end of my type!

When people get to know me, it's pretty common for them to ask me if I'm sure I'm not a J (judging). I'm internally organized, I like {when other people have to follow the} rules and I'm never late for anything. I keep an immaculate order to my mind. So why am I a P? I love spontaneity. I don't mind changing my schedule around, I love {when I get to} break rules, I can jump from one conversation to another without feeling phased. I have laundry all over my bedroom, I love trying new things, pushing my comfort zone and I hate all household chores (although that last point might be an N thing).

Us P-types thrive with internal harmony and external cray-cray-ness. So my answer for the question? "Both. I want internal contentment and external excitement."

[Crunch the numbers: 365 questions, 5 years and 1825 answers.]

High Five for Friday

It's Friday! Yay! This weekend I'm going to a retreat with the executive of my student group and I'm really excited. I'm giving a mini workshop on nonverbal communication and I have about a billion improv games planned - I'm sure my fellow executives (all introverts) are probably just thrilled. lol. Oh well.

Today I'm linking up with Lauren Elizabeth for a five greats from the past week post called High Five for Friday! Yay! Here are my five: 

1. I got a sticker from Aerie Real's new campaign - they're no longer retouching their models which is really exciting to me. I hope this means we're one step closer to letting go of the ideals of photoshop altogether.
   
2. This week I managed to get ahead in my classes. I don't have any midterms or assignments now until after reading week, so I'm resisting the urge to slack off.
3. It's currently international week at the university and today was also Chinese New Year - I got to see some really fantastic lion dancers! They were seriously fantastic; I couldn't look away! Hence the poor photo quality. 
   
4. This week I went to see Dallas Buyers Club with one of my besties. It was absolutely incredible and I definitely recommend seeing it if you are into pharmaceutical history, AIDS prevention/treatment or if you just enjoy an amazing and emotional plot.
5. Today was filled with really good chats with friends. These hands belong to an inspirational and incredible friend of mine. I love Henna. Also she's holding a glass jar and I'm pretty much obsessed with glass jars so I forced her to let me photograph her hands! :) 
   

Hope your week was filled with many high points and have a great weekend!