begin again

hello my loves! it is with great excitement that I announce my new blog, which can be found at robineylea.com! I am so excited to share this new chapter of my life with you all over there!

get sweaty

{for this week's workout wednesday post, I've asked my very cool friend Nena to create a workout playlist! Nena is one of the fittest girls I know, and she's known throughout our social circles as the person with the coolest [and most extensive] taste in music! you can find her music blog on tumblr, and her hilarious thoughts on life on twitter. enjoy!}

Hello everybody! My name is Nena. I am a 20-year-old Sociology major/ German Language minor who has a thirst for good tunes and for being active. When the beautiful and lovely Robin asked me to be a guest writer on her rad blog, I was beyond stoked. To top it off, she asked me to write about my two favorite topics in the universe: music and working out (or well, more specifically, music to listen to while working out).

There is no doubt in my mind having the perfect playlist can immensely improve your workout . Listening to upbeat music has been proven to motivate you to put in more effort, it keeps you focused and a good beat can really help you keep a steady pace. I find that the playlist people listen to while they get their sweat-on can be a very personal thing. Everyone likes a variety of different genres and I've found that different songs work differently for the type of work out as well.

The playlist I have crafted for you today is categorized for the different stages of a good full body workout, including a warm-up, cardio, lifting and a cool down. I tried to mix up the genres and keep it fresh 2 death to tickle the fancy of all of you fit readers (Did I mention your ass looks great? Must be all those stairs you did listening to awesome jams eh?) Also I’m just going to do a shameless plug here and say all the tunes are soundcloud links. Soundcloud is seriously (in my opinion) the best listening/streaming site out there. If you make an account here you can make your own playlist or follow this 1-hour Get Sweaty Playlist that I made specifically for this post! Okay - now down to the nitty gritty (and sweaty?)!

warm up

Latch (Disclosure) - the lovely voice of Sam Smith and the endless talent of the 2 Disclosure brothers never fails to get me ready for a killer sweat.

cardio

Sunshower (Rusko) - annnnnd now its time to get in a groove. Falling into step with this fresh off the press Rusko track is like second nature.

Green Gardens (Djemba Djemba) - this remix of a great original makes for a great cardio pusher

Girls (The 1975) - changing the pace with some good British rock boys and a dance jam can get me motivated like no other

Inspector Norse (Todd Terje) - nu-Disco has this way of getting me into a cardio trance.

Go (Grimes) - Grimes and Blood Diamonds wrote this jam for Rhianna who turned it down and I cant imagine why ?!!?!?! The trap break down can get anyone goin 3hunnit.

All Good (Av Av Av) - keep on going with the smooth as butter track by Av Av Av will have you running longer than you ever thought you could

Feel of Love (i-D) - feel the love. The love of the feeling of pushing your body to the limits.

Cloudy (Feel so Real) - the endless groove you’ll be in after this jam will have you wanting to keep going FOREVER!

lifting

Push 'Em Up (Boyz Noize) - PUSH UP THOSE WEIGHTS. I KNOW YOU CAN DO ONE MORE.

Fancy Remix (Iggy Azalea) - hard twist on the song of the summer to get you lifting more than you ever thought you could

Affection (Crystal Castles) - trap remix of the year. Hits hard and so do you

Rock U Tonite (Wave Racer) - the synth drop for ultimate motivation

Shabba (A$AP Ferg) - the bass beats got you like “do you even lift bro?

Gibberi$h (Zooly) - ~LETS GO~ this track hits harder than any weight out there. FINISH OFF STRONG.

cool down

As We Strive (TWOS) - wow good work out! You were really striving for greatness *high five*

Amazing workout! Find the Get Sweaty Playlist on Soundcloud.

Huge thanks to Robin for featuring me today! Hopefully I'll be back with another playlist soon! 

The Blogmopolitan Quiz Part 3

I'm linking up again with Two Thirds Hazel for pretty much the coolest link-up imaginable. I tried to fill this one out as fast as possible because I typically put waaay too much thought into these things! So fun!

things learned

today I am 23 years old. although I definitely don't want to be one of those people who gripes about being old while still in my early twenties, I feel a little freaked out by 23. I know for a long time, I thought I'd have my life all figured out by 23. but I don't. I don't really have anything figured out, but I have learned a lot of things, especially over the past year.

A Starbucks birthday cake pop is the best way to celebrate.

while I may go into 23 still telling people that I'm 21, here are 22 things I learned about myself, relationships, and life while I was 22.

one: it's okay to say no, and to express what you really want.

two: and a follow up to number one, it's okay to not know what you're doing with your life, and it's okay to say that out loud [still learning this one]

three: moisturizing your skin is the most important thing in the world. or, well, it's up there.

four: love doesn't always work out. this was probably the hardest lesson I've learned over the past year, but also one of the most valuable.

five: I am a girly-girl. I think for a long time I tried to think I was "one of the guys," but I finally learned this year that a) I am not "one of the guys" and b) it's okay to be girly.

six: feminism is not about female supremacy. I think this past year, I learned that I am a feminist.

seven: being an auntie is the best thing in the whole wide world.

eight: it's okay to not be okay.

nine: being strong doesn't mean you're not hurting. it means that you can face your hurt with bravery.

ten: sometimes champagne is the answer:

eleven: people watching is sometimes the best way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

twelve: Dr. Seuss is pretty much the best philosopher in the world.

thirteen: sometimes you don't know what you like or don't like until you try it. so try it.

fourteen: you won't meet your future Mr or Mrs Right on some dating app. you'll need to download and delete the app several hundred times before you realize this.

fifteen: it's important to never stop learning.

sixteen: be yourself. the truth about who you are will always come out, so you may as well be you from the start.

seventeen: it's okay to keep reading seventeen magazine. but it's also okay to exchange it for a cosmo. you do you.

eighteen: that thing that you waste all of your time doing? it's not time wasted. it's what you should be doing.

nineteen: in the end, things won't matter. invest in relationships, not retail. (wow, I'm deep)

twenty: going to bed early is AWESOME.

twenty-one: Beyonce, hot chocolate and a good book are usually a good cure for anything.

twenty-two: learning to love yourself is the hardest thing you may ever do. but it's also the most important.

there's my list! what are some of your life lessons?

xoxo

there are 5 blogs that I faithfully check every single day for new content. one of these is the fairy princess dairies (check it out! it's fun and fabulous). jordyn, the author, constantly raves about being obsessed with gossip girl. a few weeks ago, I was home sick from work for two days and decided finally to cave and get netflix. and I decided to start my netflix addiction by binge watching gossip girl.

and I am OBSESSED.

to be honest, the first few episodes had me feeling pretty meh. I actually told my roommate that it was the dumbest show I'd ever seen and that I hated all of the characters. she left for work, and when she got back 8 hours later I was flipping out about how obsessed I was and how crazy it is. 

I've just finished season two and I have three main thoughts:

one: I have to add Blake Lively to my girl crush list. she's probably number two at this point. I feel like she is made of sparkles, joy and sunshine.

two: I am ashamed of how much I am like Blair Waldorf. I totally have a love-hate with her, and I'm [hopefully] not as plotting/manipulative/crazy as her... but I feel like I understand her pretty well. I hate to say it, but it's true. She frequently says things that match things I've said/thought. Here are two:

three: in a lot of ways, even though GG is totally over the top and ridiculous, the characters (however hateable) all reveal very true things about the world. like how true is this:

okay am I being crazy? you know you love me. xoxo, R

pick-me-up

you know those days when you're just feeling down?

I hate those days. they've been more frequent lately, with the whole breakup and all. you know the days. the days where you watch Crazy Stupid Love and lose it at your tv because if Steve Carrell can find love, why can't you? the days where everyone is busy, and you've had too much "alone time." the days where you feel bored and listless and just sort of low.

well! I have a list of my favourite ways to beat the low-days.

exercise. boost those endorphins! go for a ten minute walk, do some Zumba or hit a yoga class. no matter how you do it, make sure you do it for at least ten minutes. exercise is shown to decrease mental illness extraordinarily well, so it can also decrease the crappy-day-blues.

do something you love. which sounds obvious, but baking a cake, blogging or organizing your tool shed will distract you from whatever is making you feel low, give a sense of purpose and will also make you happy.

let someone know. telling someone that you're feeling like crap can be really therapeutic! it's like getting someone on your side, and it can also provide a fresh perspective.

take a shower. okay, this might be me-specific. when I'm sad/angry I really love to take a shower. it's my own personal space where I can think, cry and sing. plus, you come out smelling better than before.

remind yourself that it's not forever. you will eventually feel happy again. if it becomes something that lasts a significant amount of time, it might be worth discussing with your doctor or a psychologist. and in the meantime, there's always this song:

coffee date

let's have a coffee date. you + me. right now. 

why? because I have something personal on my heart, and it's easier to share something personal when you've got a hot chai tea latte or iced caramel macchiato in your hands.

do you ever just get the explicit feeling that you have no idea who you are? sure, if someone asks, you can give a list of the things you enjoy (starbucks, movies, psychology) and the things you do (work, watch movies, study), but can you really tell someone who you are? is that because you don't know who you are, or because it's far more complex than you can share in words?

I think it can be both. but even when I'm alone with my thoughts, I still don't really know who I am. I don't know what makes me special, or what my purpose in life is. I feel so much anxiety when someone says "tell me about yourself" that I often just ramble on and on and make no sense whatsoever.

I want to say yes to finding myself and yes to my adventure... but where do I even start? 

the friendzone

Today, I want to talk about an issue that annoys the crap out of me: the concept of the friendzone.

Imagine that Harry really likes Sally. Sally is not interested in Harry, but she appreciates having him as a friend. Harry becomes determined to win Sally's affections, and is the nicest, sweetest and kindest he can possibly be towards her. Still, Sally is uninterested in Harry in that way. He begins to smother her with affection, and Sally pushes Harry away. Harry's friends laugh at him and point out that Sally has totally "friend-zoned" him - Harry cannot believe that girls are only interested in bad boys and would never be interested in a nice guy like him! Sally is suuuch a bitch!

As if because Harry is a nice guy, Sally owes it to him to no longer consider him "just a friend." The friend zone is some made up construct for people to deal with the fact that someone else does not have feelings for them. Plain and simple - someone is not a jerk for not wanting to date you. We've turned Sally into a bad person because she doesn't want to date Harry even though he's a nice guy!? We're ignoring the actual reasons that Sally isn't interested in Harry - she's not attracted to him, doesn't feel anything beyond friendship for him + has feelings for whatshisname.

This concept is dangerous, and the media perpetuates it. We see so many countless movies where one person has major, unreciprocated feelings for someone else... and at the end, the other person magically has a change of heart.

Obviously, there are situations where a friendship can blossom into more. Where friends-feelings can change into more than friends-feelings.

But, bottom line: if you're being friends with someone simply because you hope to eventually date or have sex with them, you're the jerk.

workout must haves

I'm not going to look like a frump when I'm working out, and that's that. I'm much less likely to get moving if I feel less-than-pretty while doing it. Solution? Cute workout clothing.

cute waterbottle - comfy shorts - warm zip-up - cushioned shoes - pretty gym bag

Those are my must-haves. What are yours?

take a look

I saw this video yesterday, and it moved me so much - I even cried a little bit.

I know the concept of this video is a little strange... but the idea is liberating and sweet. These women faced their vagina fears and started the process of loving and accepting their whole bodies. These women were so brave to share such an intimate and deep moment with the internet.

Love it. Sex positivity makes me so smiley.

re:new

sometimes we need a fresh start.

sometimes, the best thing we can do for ourselves is to start over.

over the past few years, I have changed so much. I've lost my religion, finished my degree, become a feminist, gained and lost friends, relationships and jobs. My mental health has fluctuated just as much as my life has over the past few years. Sometimes, even in between a few days I can go from feeling 100% fantastic to 100% not-so-shiny.

Often, it makes me feel better to drop whatever I'm working on and to just have a fresh start - or at least to take a moment to lean back and look at what I'm doing. I need to see how things could be better, and it's pretty dang hard to do that during a panic attack or during high stress moments.Change is good. Change is challenging, but change is good. It's good for your mental health to rethink things sometimes. :)

As you can see, I've changed some things here on the blog. Definitely be expecting more changes - this mini facelift on the blog is just another example of taking a step back and seeing how things could be better.

favourites

here's a little friday fun! my five favourite cheerful places to look at when I've got free time or need a laugh!

1. #myfriendsaremarried - omg, this is seriously the funniest tumblr. as a single girl with a lot of married friends, this blog is basically constantly reading my mind.

2. ps.heart - this blog is a) incredibly beautiful b) written by two beautiful lovlies and c) my inspiration when I can't find my creativity. check it out!

3. anna akana - I love Anna's thoughts on life. she's smart, funny and a feminist. she's recently exploring making short films and I'm loving all of her twisted creativity.

4. fitsugar - way to make fitness look glam, fun and fabulous! I love reading articles on here. it motivates me and keeps me interested.

5. sexplanations - Dr. Doe, a sexologist that I adore (and pretty much want to be when I grow up!!), explains sex concepts in a clear, frank way - plus she's hilarious and goofy.

share the love - tell me what your favourite cheerful websites are!

visited

As you may have noticed, I haven't posted for a week - I was on vacation visiting my family in BC. I chose not to pre-prepare blog entries because I literally had no time to sit down and plan things out in the week before I left, and I didn't want to just throw together a post for the sake of posting. But I'll be back to regular content on Monday.

This was a really special trip to me because it was the first time I got to meet my nephew + godson Jacob. He is so sweet and I love him so much! I'm already missing him and his cuddles like crazy! Here are a few snaps of my little visit to the tiny, rainy town I come from.

how to get up early to work out

I am SOO not a morning person. At all. Buuut... I much prefer being finished my workout early in the day so that I can have fun in the evening. Getting up before work to work out has proven to be incredibly challenging. So here is how to get up early to fit in a work out in 15 easy steps.

1. set around 500 alarms the night before.

2. tell your roommate to call you at 5:45 am so that you really can't avoid the workout

3. argue with your roommate about why she should get up at the crack of dawn just to make sure that you do.

4. learn to deal with the fact that you're an adult and have to be responsible for your own wake up times.

5. go to bed really, really early. so you can get up at the earliest time of day and feel energized and ready.

6. Lay in bed for 45 minutes wishing you could fall asleep.

7. Watch 3 episodes of Sex and the City since you can't sleep anyways. Start drifting off as you contemplate whether you love or hate Miranda.

8. Wake up to your first of 500 alarms. Turn off all of your alarms because you're sooo going to get out of...

9. Wake up an hour later and realize you totally haven't made it out of bed yet. If you get up now, you can still fit in a 45 minute Zumba video before work.

10. Bargain with yourself for fifteen minutes. If you just get up and go for a light jog for 30 minutes, you can totally have the full-fat latte at Starbucks.

11. Holy crap, now you've only got half an hour. If you really think about it, you can only work out for 20 minutes because you have to get ready for work after and you really don't want to be late.

12. Maybe you can fit in a quick power walk. You did wake up early, after all.

13. Nah. Decide that if you just eat healthy for the day and try to walk a lot while at work, you can skip the work out.

14. Sleep for 15 extra minutes.

15. Have the full-fat latte at Starbucks anyways. Decide you'll start tomorrow because "Thursdays are a better day to start a fitness/diet regimen anyways."

stressed out

This week, I've been experiencing an anxiety flare up.

Which is weird, considering I'm finished school and a lot of my projects are wrapping up. In a lot of ways I have nothing to be stressed about.

I saw this TEDx talk a few days ago, and thought it was soo insightful! the concept of anxiety preparing us to deal with the worst is honestly such a beautiful way of looking at it. what do you think? could you and stress be friends?

fairtrade beauty finds

social justice and human rights are incredibly important to me. one way I've tried to make a difference is via Fairtrade - a trade justice system that ensures farmers get paid fair wages, have safe working conditions and that the environment is respected (look for the green/blue symbol!).

Okay, this picture is a little outdated...

I'm all about Fairtrade coffee, tea, sugar and chocolate, and recently I've been exploring Fairtrade beauty items!

This sugar scrub is seriously incredible. It leaves your skin feeling SO soft and it smells amazing. Within one use, it became one of my favourite beauty products. It's also made in Vancouver, so it's great to be supporting small, local businesses!

This Fairtrade shea butter lip balm from Ten Thousand Villages pretty much instantly heals up your lips. It feels so smooth - and my lips were noticeably better within a few hours.

This Fairtrade foot lotion is my go-to solution in the winter. It'll leave your feet feeling happy even in those sad, dry winter months - and it smells lovely!

So there you have it - my [current] Fairtrade beauty favourites. This is one thing I'm always on the look out for - so if you have any favourites please let me know!!

reward

Kind of embarrassingly, I respond to reward/punishment systems really well.

When I was a student (all of those many days ago), I constantly had to reward myself for successfully studying. If I studied hard for an hour, I could watch a 20-minute episode of Family Guy. If I wrote a page of a research paper, I could watch a few YouTube videos. You know. I'm basically Skinner's pet.

It's kind of the same thing for weight-loss for me - every five pounds, I reward myself with a non-food gift of at least $25. If I work out 6 days a week, I get a little me-time (aka - nail polish, at-home-facial, hair mask, etc). If I eat healthy for 6.5 days a week, I get a cheat-night where I don't have to count calories and it's all guilt free.

Right now I'm working towards this eyeliner from MAC.

How do you motivate yourself to keep it up?

ENFP Confessions #6

I've said it a billion times: I love people. Most of the time I think this is my favourite thing about myself and my greatest strength.

I care about people instantly, and I have a really hard time having acquaintances - I want to be friends with everyone. I love people's stories and I love getting to know people on a deeper level.

While this is a huge benefit to being an ENFP, in a lot of ways it is exhausting and challenging. This became the height of exhausting and challenging in this break up that I'm going through. Being in love was a strange experience.

For me, what set apart loving someone and being in love with someone was an unconditional trust. Obviously, I'm still early in the break up process, but I kind of think that being in love is being bonded with someone for life. At least for this ENFP. Trusting someone on that level pieces them into your identity and soul. It's magnificent and terrifying all at once. And I don't think that just goes away. Maybe Hopefully it changes in time, but I can't imagine it ever going away. Being in love may always be a part of who I am.

This might be an experience shared by all of MBTI, but I think it's a bit of an ENFP thing. Loving people is such an important part of my life, loving people defines me. I can't imagine un-loving anyone. Loving someone is forever... right?

panic attack

have you ever had a panic attack? the fear sets in and suddenly your heart rate is through the roof. as you try to calm down, your palms become sweaty and you can't really concentrate - except, at the same time you're fixating and sliding down the rabbit hole into a panic-stupor. you're overthinking, your muscles feel weird, your stomach starts to hurt and you have a hard time carrying on a conversation.

in my personal experience, at this point things can go one of two ways: you have a panic attack, or you successfully calm yourself.

before you're breathing into a paper bag (does anyone really do this??) and having a major panic attack, there are definitely a few things you can do to calm down - or to help calm down a friend!

for me, the last thing I want to hear is stay calm or relax. obviously, if I could, I would. the biggest thing that works for me is distraction. if I'm with someone else I'll ask them to tell me some story about their life, and if I'm alone I'll try to find something to read or listen to. novelty really helps here.

as obvious as it sounds, deep breathing is your best friend in a panic attack situation. you need to let your nervous system know that the fight or flight panic response is not needed. the best way to do this is by behaving in a calm way: deep breathing, not allowing your thoughts to race (take control! write things down - you won't be able to write as quickly as your thoughts are going) and stretching are all ways to inhibit that fight or flight response.

the deep breathing exercise that works for me has always been inhale for 4 counts, hold for 3 counts, exhale for 5 counts. that will slow everything down (and concentrating on the counts will distract you!)

if you have passed the threshold into the having-a-panic-attack mode, let it run its course. do your best to calm down with deep breathing, and if you're with someone let them know where you're at. it might feel like you're having a heart attack and about to die, but gently remind yourself that you're not going to die and it will eventually die down. be kind to yourself + don't blame yourself. most people will have a panic attack in the course of their lifetime, so you are not alone.

how do you deal with panic attacks?

how to survive a breakup

it's pretty weird how one day, someone is your everything, and the next day you're not really allowed to talk to them. In the span of a 20 minute conversation, everything changes: this person that once consumed your thoughts, future plans and so much of your time is no longer a part of your life. Isn't that weird?

break ups really, really suck. This is not my first rodeo, so I know how to beat get through the break-up blues. Through the first few days, you gotta give yourself time to mourn. Eat, cry, be angry, have bellinis, watch movies, cry some more, eat more, read books, cry even more. Stay in bed for the whole day. I also like to sprinkle cleaning and self-care into the first few days. Cleaning because it's easy to basically burn your whole house down in the process of hating the universe. Self-care because it's easy to basically burn your whole body down in the process of hating the universe. Get some exercise, give yourself a facial, paint your nails. Whatever makes you happy. After those first few days, put on some real pants leggings and face the world. Order the full fat drink at starbucks, spend time with friends and carry on with your life. You'll still be incredibly sad, you'll still be hurting - but you've gotta actively try to love yourself and heal.

there's no real timeline here, but when you're ready, your mind will automatically enter phase 3 of the break up - it doesn't really hurt anymore, you're not plagued by sadness + you're mostly all healed up.

to me the hardest part of a breakup is correcting that mental routine of thinking about your ex-partner. For the past three years, I've only really thought about one person - it's really tough to convince your brain to not think about that person! but like any habit, over time it becomes a lot easier. The other hard part of a break up, for me, is allowing myself to experience the sadness, the hurt and all of the other emotions associated with break ups. I put such a big pressure on myself to "just be okay" because I think that's what others want from me. But this time, I'm trying pretty hard to let myself experience all of the crappy stuff because I really think that's the best way to heal after this kind of hurt.

remember who you are. That's the most important thing. You're worth so much and you deserve the best.