Today at work I had a grotesque realization about myself.
We always have worship music on at work. I think I was born with a song in my soul, so I constantly sing along without even realizing it! Every so often, the words I'm singing seem to bubble to the surface of my consciousness, and that happened today. I can't even remember what song it was from, but the lyrics were "we bow to You alone, Jesus."
As I sang them, a little voice in my head said the only thing you bow to is fear. And isn't that true!? I'm such a fearful person! I struggle with fear of failure, fear of being unloved, fear of being worthless, fear of being wrong. The list goes on.
When I tell people that I'm fearful, they rarely take me seriously because of my personality. I'm willing to try anything and everything. People seem to equate being fearful with being shy, but that is not always the case.
I remember one time, I was going skydiving (see picture!) with a good friend. As we drove out to the skydive centre, he said that the thing that struck him most about me was how fearless I was. I remember bursting out laughing - "you think I'm fearless!?" I started describing my anxiety disorder to him, and soon he came to realize that I'm not so fearless at all.
So I got to thinking - how can a person overcome to urge to bow to their fears? I think that identifying your fears is probably a good place to start, but I sometimes think that fear is a bigger entity than a worry regarding a specific object or concept. Bigger than a feeling gone wrong.
So how do you overcome fear itself? I guess that's the direction my journey is headed in next.
We always have worship music on at work. I think I was born with a song in my soul, so I constantly sing along without even realizing it! Every so often, the words I'm singing seem to bubble to the surface of my consciousness, and that happened today. I can't even remember what song it was from, but the lyrics were "we bow to You alone, Jesus."
As I sang them, a little voice in my head said the only thing you bow to is fear. And isn't that true!? I'm such a fearful person! I struggle with fear of failure, fear of being unloved, fear of being worthless, fear of being wrong. The list goes on.When I tell people that I'm fearful, they rarely take me seriously because of my personality. I'm willing to try anything and everything. People seem to equate being fearful with being shy, but that is not always the case.
I remember one time, I was going skydiving (see picture!) with a good friend. As we drove out to the skydive centre, he said that the thing that struck him most about me was how fearless I was. I remember bursting out laughing - "you think I'm fearless!?" I started describing my anxiety disorder to him, and soon he came to realize that I'm not so fearless at all.
So I got to thinking - how can a person overcome to urge to bow to their fears? I think that identifying your fears is probably a good place to start, but I sometimes think that fear is a bigger entity than a worry regarding a specific object or concept. Bigger than a feeling gone wrong.
So how do you overcome fear itself? I guess that's the direction my journey is headed in next.
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