Lonely

I feel very much like I did when I first moved into Lister Hall in September.

I got to 3K, and had absolutely no one - I didn't fit in on my floor, I didn't really know anyone in Edmonton and I felt so alone. I felt like God was my only friend. That time was very healthy for my relationship with God, and I'm hoping it's going to be like that again, as once again I feel very alone.

I don't totally understand how this has happened. I have been trying to follow God and His leading with all of my actions, and somehow I have ended up with nobody. I mean, I have indeed been blessed with a wonderful community at my church, but I don't know anyone there enough to trust them yet.

And trust is an issue for me.

But I am certain that focusing on all of the negatives will not turn this all to positivity! So, I will let God do it!

Now that I am forced to be alone, I have more time to spend with God! At the beginning of September when He was my only friend, we became far closer than normal. Maybe this will happen again. I did buy a new Bible Study today, and have an old one to finish, so I'll finally get to that. God and I need to be closer: that has been the focus and purpose of all of my actions lately. At least, I am trying to focus on that.

So, I will spend tonight on me, and my relationship with God. I'm not used to not being around people, and maybe this is what I'm called to be doing right now!

And maybe this is a time for me to meet new people, and try and trust them. Maybe I am supposed to be working on my trust issues. It's hard to imagine that, after being pushed away by two people that I had only just begun to trust - but I am trying to seek God on this!

And doing His Will has indeed brought me peace. I am thankful.

So, tonight, instead of pining, I will do homework, clean my room, eat popcorn, watch movies and do a Bible Study! I will spend time with God, and I will relish in the fact that Jesus died so I could spend time with God! The curtain was torn, and I should be joyful. This is an honour.

Loving Him is an honour.

What do you do when you feel lonely?