ENFP Confessions #6

I've said it a billion times: I love people. Most of the time I think this is my favourite thing about myself and my greatest strength.

I care about people instantly, and I have a really hard time having acquaintances - I want to be friends with everyone. I love people's stories and I love getting to know people on a deeper level.

While this is a huge benefit to being an ENFP, in a lot of ways it is exhausting and challenging. This became the height of exhausting and challenging in this break up that I'm going through. Being in love was a strange experience.

For me, what set apart loving someone and being in love with someone was an unconditional trust. Obviously, I'm still early in the break up process, but I kind of think that being in love is being bonded with someone for life. At least for this ENFP. Trusting someone on that level pieces them into your identity and soul. It's magnificent and terrifying all at once. And I don't think that just goes away. Maybe Hopefully it changes in time, but I can't imagine it ever going away. Being in love may always be a part of who I am.

This might be an experience shared by all of MBTI, but I think it's a bit of an ENFP thing. Loving people is such an important part of my life, loving people defines me. I can't imagine un-loving anyone. Loving someone is forever... right?

ENFP Confessions #5

For my birthday last year, a really good friend of mine bought me a very cool present (she wrote this post!). It's a journal that asks you a question every day for a year - and there is space for five years. I don't know if I explained that right.

A few days ago, on February 6th, to be exact, the question was Are you seeking excitement or contentment? And I had a REALLY hard time with the answer for a little while. But the reason this post is an ENFP confession is because I'm going to talk a little about that little P (perceiving) at the end of my type!

When people get to know me, it's pretty common for them to ask me if I'm sure I'm not a J (judging). I'm internally organized, I like {when other people have to follow the} rules and I'm never late for anything. I keep an immaculate order to my mind. So why am I a P? I love spontaneity. I don't mind changing my schedule around, I love {when I get to} break rules, I can jump from one conversation to another without feeling phased. I have laundry all over my bedroom, I love trying new things, pushing my comfort zone and I hate all household chores (although that last point might be an N thing).

Us P-types thrive with internal harmony and external cray-cray-ness. So my answer for the question? "Both. I want internal contentment and external excitement."

[Crunch the numbers: 365 questions, 5 years and 1825 answers.]

ENFP Confessions #4

Sometimes I feel like my imaginative life is maybe more active than my actual life.

Recently, some friends and I went to see the Secret Life of Walter Mitty. It was fantastic - a definite idealist movie and I definitely recommend seeing it if you want some inspiration. [Favourite quote: "Beautiful things don't ask for attention."]

From the moment I saw the movie's trailer, something about it stood out to me. If you haven't heard about it, it's a guy who lives in a daydreamy world where he is a heroic champion and must go on a journey to discover his true identity. And that stuck out to me. 

I know I've mentioned it on here before how intense my daydreaming life is - sometimes it distracts me from what's really going on in my life. I can daydream for hours if nothing interrupts me, and I always go on the most exciting and incredible adventures. In my head. Yup. 

So I was pretty convinced that this movie was going to be about an introverted, male version of myself (and I was right). I think my little daydreaming problem is such a beneficial gift - sometimes it teaches me valuable things about people, relationships and myself. Sometimes, however, I need to go live my adventures instead of daydreaming about them.

ENFP thought for the day: I think emotion and imagination are rational logic in their own ways.

ENFP Confessions #3

Relationships are probably the most important thing in the world to me. I love people in general, and I've been known to tell people that I don't do acquaintances. We either are friends, or we're not friends, and there's no real in between for me. My relationships are part of my identity. In the words of my favourite ENFP...

I have a really hard time letting go of my relationships. The getting to know someone process is incredibly life changing for me with any relationship, particularly deeper relationships. My relationships become a huge part of who I am; it's challenging for me to accept that sometimes the most healthy thing is to take a break from a relationship.

I know this post seems kind of serious, but it's something I'm seriously thinking about tonight. Sometimes, letting go of the things we hold dearest can allow us to be extraordinarily free. 

ENFP Confessions #2

I'm intensely passionate about an extremely wide array of things... and all of those things don't necessarily go together, either.

Seriously, I'm really hyper-passionate. Sex, faith, singing, education, human rights and social justice, fairtrade, writing, getting to know others... the list goes on. At least there's somewhat of a common element; you can kind of narrow down the list. I really love people!

And I hear a lot of other ENFPs have this struggle too! I regularly wonder if I'll ever decide what I want to be when I grow up. If I ever grow up, that is. It's so hard to figure out what "my thing" is... I guess I both love and hate this about myself. I love that I love so many things. But I also desperately wish that I at least had an idea of what my future would hold.

In the end, I think I'll keep living a life of happiness and love. To be totally honest, as confusing as being hyper-passionate can be, my life is very full of love and joy because of it. So... I think I'll just embrace this hyper-passionate part of myself - it is, after all, a pretty good problem to have.

ENFP Confessions #1

Trying to keep my thoughts on point is like trying to keep a wave on the sand. Honestly, sometimes I think the reason I talk to myself so much is because the thoughts don't fit in my head anymore. The other night, I didn't know my roommate was home and I was chatting away to myself. Later on, she got up to go to the bathroom and my face went BEET RED! She must think I'm crazy!

I'm just like Dory from Finding Nemo; enthusiastic and talking a mile-a-minute... except far less forgetful. Conversation is of extremely high importance to me, so I'm unlikely to forget the things you tell me.

My feelings and my ability to trust others? That's another confession for another time :) ENFP out!