weird & surprising

Something I never thought I'd pray for is a release of emotions.

Some stuff has happened lately, and as I choose God more and more, I feel all these emotions inside just being walled in. I'm scared of that, but for some reason I cannot seem to let them free.

Doesn't sound like me at all, right?

I don't know what's going on. I want to cry, but I can't! I want to feel joy, but I can't! I want to be able to talk out these feelings, but I can't! Except it's more than just that - I feel all of these things like they're under my skin. It's as though I don't explicitly feel them, but I know they're there.

I need to feel these things to be healed and to let God have more of my heart! all of my heart! but I can't seem to figure out what's wrong. This is never a problem I've had! I'm always the first to cry - but I can't seem to cry at all.

praying for tears. very weird.