I'd have to say that this probably has a very misleading title. You're probably thinking "Oooh, a story about how God has shown her rich mercy today, how exciting!" Well, sorry to let you down, but that's not what this post is about.
[That said, God's mercy is INCREDIBLE and I don't even get how big it is sometimes. He's wow.]
I just took a spiritual gifts test. I don't know how to feel about the results. My top 3 highest scores are as follows:
- Showing Mercy
- Leadership
- Pastoring/Shepherding
These were followed by things like administration, evangelism and related things.
Okay, leadership - maybe we all saw this coming. And maybe even pastoring sounds like me (I wouldn't know...).
But showing mercy?
I have never known this to be one of my gifts. What does that mean? How do I use that? Do I still get to serve in the church? Am I supposed to be serving? I long to serve others. I'm so confused!
On the other hand, this is a very humbling gift to have - even if I don't believe that it is true.
It's wild, mercy is something I only associate with God. I feel like I can't have this gift; it's not of Earth. I guess I'm not either... but what does this all mean? How could a human have a quality that is strictly HIS?! It's weird. I'm honoured, but plagued by disbelief that I could actually share this gift with the Divine Creator.
But isn't that what all spiritual gifts are, then? Qualities that we share with God because of the presence of His Spirit?
So have I always had this gift?
What I mean is, I sometimes struggle with knowing that my gift of leadership is of God. I feel like there are a lot of non-followers who share this gift too, which is weird for me. As someone put it the other day, my leadership is leadership in my [church] family, where as others just have the capability to lead. And I know we're all created in His image, so we're all going to mirror some of His qualities, which are all amazing.. But is showing mercy something that only appears once we've received divine mercy?
How could I have shown mercy before, not knowing what it was?
And I still have no idea what mercy is, exactly. I'm gonna need to study this. I will never know what this cost God, to show me mercy. I feel like me showing others mercy costs me nothing. Are the two even alike?!
How do I use this gift? In the same way that I have been (apparently)?
Wait, what does that mean?
On tomorrow's to-do list, I've got to take a personality test that links up with this spiritual gifts test and proposes some areas in which I could/should serve in the church.
It's exciting, but also sorta scary. I feel analyzed by a small booklet. Haha.
Wow, I am looking forward to diving into the Word tomorrow morning. I know there are answers there.
This picture (above) was on the Google image search for 'merciful.' Beautiful? I think so.
Something I share? I don't see it.
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