June Goals

I'm really super good at setting goals. I have been since I was quite young - even in elementary school, I was constantly aspiring to improve myself through goal setting.

Following through on my goals? That's another story. I'm a person who loves the start of things... and when things get normal, I get bored. I think the best way to ensure that I meet my goals is to create accountability: by posting my goals on here, I feel some responsibility to ensure that they happen!

So, here are my goals for the next month:

[1] blog more frequently

[2] get my desk/office space sorted out and organized

[3] drink more water (~8 cups a day!)

[4] stick to my budget!

[5] practice storytelling on the blog! This could be a huge disaster... we will see!

[6] start (and finish) one creative project this month!

[7] have an honest and open conversation about what's going on in my heart with at least one person

Great Legs

I just got back from the beautiful Hawaiian Island of Maui. It was so much fun - we went snorkeling, paddle boarding, swimming and tanning! I loved the palm trees, beach walks, pineapples, sunsets, giant sea turtles, amazing food, coral reefs, humidity... I just loved it all! Except the sunburns! I tried to include pictures that sort of summarize how great Hawaii felt. I took a lot of pictures of palm trees - something truly fascinating to a Canadian, I guess!

I just really enjoyed the laid back Hawaiian culture. They call it the spirit of aloha - aloha doesn't just mean hello and goodbye, but it embodies a belief in living a life of love and peace.

It was an incredible and restful vacation, but it also provided a lot of thinking space. Since I spent most of my time there in a bikini, I thought a great deal about my body, and I also spent a lot of time thinking about myself in general. I began really considering what it means to be "Robin," and a lot of what I was able to come up with was criticism.

I found myself really facing a lot of my self worth issues. I feel a new hyper-awareness of how un-confident I am... which is good: awareness is usually the first step in growth.

Every so often I see a picture of myself and it won't be perfect, but I think to myself "man, I've got great legs." Here's to looking for the other "great legs" that make up me.

 These are my great legs. What are yours?

ALOHA

Climb Like a Fish

I want to share my favourite quote with y'all because it really touches my heart (it's in the picture!).

I've always been someone who wants to do everything well. I would never refer to myself as a perfectionist but more of a "do-well-ist" ... aka - it doesn't have to be absolutely perfect so long as I do a good job on everything.

Those last few words are crucial... "do well on everything." This has always been my mentality. I don't know if it's a personality thing or if it's how I was raised, but it governs so much of my life (is that godly? probably not). 

I've wondered why this is so important to me. I think it's because I fear the judgement of others and because I can't handle criticism. If I do everything well, nobody can criticize me, right? 

Well, that's wrong. We need to stop judging each other, and stop judging ourselves. We all have different gifts and talents, and together we make up the beautiful body of Christ. I'm not stupid because I can't climb a tree (it's true, I can't). I'm not stupid because I suck at being outdoors and am a bad visionary.

Our abilities do not define our worth - and we need to stop believing that they do!

Flaws and All

It's officially summer - I can tell because I have no idea what day of the week it is without consulting my calendar first! Turns out it's Monday. My weekend was kind of awesome. Sunday especially was all kinds of perfection.

My ex-small-group and I were in a race in the very early morning - although I'd registered for the 10K, I ended up running the 5K. The proceeds went to the Zebra Child Protection Agency and we had a crazy fun time. I shaved 5 MINUTES off of my 5K time, and then we enjoyed Dilly bars and weird country music while cheering on the marathoners.

We then took an hour drive to a place we all love very dearly - the Charest ranch. The Charests are the nicest and most generous people I've ever met.

We spent a few hours out there; hanging out with the Charests, sunbathing and enjoying technology-free outdoorsyness (check out my sunburn on the right!) and then we played a question-answer game. One question was "if you were a present to yourself, what would you be and why?"

Immediately, my mind started racing. What do I want most? Glitter? Perfect nails? Black Toms? A Victoria's Secret gift card? As my mind filtered through the list of things on my "want" list, a clear answer popped into my head... The perfect gift for me would be self acceptance.

My self confidence has been at an all-time low recently - it's weird because my weight has also been at an all-time low, but no matter what I cannot feel satisfied with me. I'm constantly evaluating how ugly, stupid or imperfect I am and it is so draining. I need to find a way to love me - flaws and all.

So you tell me...

If you were a present to yourself, what would you be and why?

Feel Things

Hey y'all.

For those of you who don't know me, I'm a very emotional individual. I feel everything hard and in a typical day I experience a full (and intense) range of emotions. Regular day-to-day things can stir deep emotional responses in my heart - both negative and positive. I'm just a feeler. A typical ENFP.

I've just been thinking so much lately about how these displays of emotion have become a negative thing in our society. I have it nailed into my head that sharing my heart and emotions is a bad thing. I'm so tired of hearing emotionality portrayed as rationality's evil twin. I think both play an important role in today's world.

I want a society where both tenderheartedness and good sense  are valued equally. More than anything, I'd like people to respect my emotions and feelings; I want people to stop telling me to stop being myself!

Emotions are a good thing. Period.

Summer Goals

Hey everyone!
I just finished my FOURTH year of university! Isn't that insane? One more year to go!

As you can see, I changed up my blog a lot. I thought the previous format hardly suited me, and I wanted to ensure that my blog was an accurate representation of myself.

I've worked a lot in my life - every summer, in fact, since I was 13. So this summer, I'm just working 22 hours a week! I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with myself this year. Being a typical Robin, I decided I have a few goals.

[1] Work on my control issues.

[2] Become better at handling constructive criticism.

[3] Work on my creativity.

[4] Become more comfortable with nature + outdoorsy things.

Those of you who know me know that these are all really big areas of struggle for me. But my number one goal this summer is to reconnect with God. I feel like I've been perpetually confused lately about what I believe in and, more importantly, why I believe it.

So, while I'm only working part time this summer, I am still going to be working on my heart + soul a lot. Wish me luck!

I also have a tendency to get very lonely in the summertime; everyone goes home from school or works full time and my need for lots of human interaction takes a huge hit every summer. Soooo.. let's hang out!

Updates!

/ / currently / / 

[watching] Modern Family!

[reading] The Jesus Calling Devotional

[listening] Kid Cudi's newest, "Indicud"

[making] goals for the summertime

[feeling] stressed & exhausted

[planning] on getting better at journalling! {and blogging}

[loving] the warmer weather! {in Edmonton? yeah right!} an uprising of girly creativity in my heart!

Wear Pink!

It's been a rough day, to say the least. Here's a little sunshine to brighten today for all of us ladies:

Things I Love

I got this idea from one of my favourite blogs: http://sweetnessitself.blogspot.ca/

5 Things I can't Live without by robin-lea-hansen featuring christian dior

1) my ESV pink bible!
2) STARBUCKS
3) perfume - particularly j'adore Dior
4) BabyLips
5) Mumford & Sons!

Also, this was my first time using Polyvore. I'm fancy huh!

Crisis Management

This week has caused a lot of self reflection for me. Things lately have brought me back to my blog after a nearly year-long hiatus. Apparently I can't handle too much introspection!

The last four years of my life have been a mess. I have changed so much, in some ways for the better and in some ways for the worse. But I'm sitting here, looking back on the last four years, and realizing that I went through a lot. Every 3-4 months I seem to go through some kind of major crisis. So I started thinking about causes.

Was it university? University is a stressful time for everyone - with constant pressure, every tiny issue one goes through is blown out of proportion due to the stress of school. The deadlines, the difficulty level, etc. School is hard. But I don't think that's why I've gone through so much in the last four years.

I started wondering if it's my age. Four years ago, at 18, I moved out and started life on my own - which is crazy! I feel like 18-21 are huge "changing/growing" years for everyone. Is that why I've gone through so much? Is this normal for everyone in my age group? We're all struggling to get a start on this life thing? I somehow feel like it's a cop-out to say that I'm young.

Am I just lazy? Am I just a drama queen?

But the number of crises I've gone through makes me feel like it's not just drama, so I've come to conclude that the cause of these crises is life. I mean, I wonder if this is just how life goes. Has my life just finally started?

What do you think? Are regular crises just a part of life?

growing and shrinking pains!

Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long since I've updated ye ol' blog. I am finished my third year of university! amazing that God has gotten me this far and that I haven't given up or committed myself to a mental institution - but my brain feels far beyond capacity right now haha
The last few weeks have been painful but wonderful for me. I gave up a truly ungodly relationship, and though God has met me right there and my walk has picked up again, I'm a little lonely. I'm learning to rely on God for that need to be filled. But with friends getting engaged and in serious relationships I can't lie - I'm getting pretty jealous.
Another thing I need to work through... I've lost 35 pounds! I still have a ways to go but along this weight loss/health journey I'm certain I've started to develop an eating disorder. I cannot seem to stop comparing my body/hair/smile/eyes/clothes/height/strength to other girls and it's hard. Some days I struggle to eat at all, and on days that I eat "too much" (ie: over 1400 calories) I work myself out ridiculously hard. I'm trying to be healthy but I feel like in many ways this good thing has become a seriously troublesome thing. I can't eat in public without feeling like everybody is staring at me. Fat girls seen eating = frowned upon.
My exams only ended today so hopefully I'll be able to pray through loneliness/jealousy/eating problems now that my head isn't stuck in a textbook.
suggestions?

In 2012 I Resolve To

1. Be real in my faith by constant prayer + adoration, and by choosing to serve the Lord instead of my selfish desires.

2. Stop eating beef - beef production is one of the leading causes of global warming.

3. Stop drinking pop - that stuff's nasty. Still don't know if this includes iced tea.

4. Seek to be Galatians 5:22-23 + seek the spirit's leading in this!

5. Create a budget and stick to it.

6. End an unhealthy friendship that I should no longer be maintaining.

7. Put on a purity ring + mean it as a commitment to God.

8. Stop biting my nails.