Forgiveness and Guilt

Right when everything starts going right is when I screw up. Always.

For instance, life has really started to turn around. I was growing with God, my prayer life was growing, and I felt like I was on the right path.

Then I get body-checked by a problem I've had for years. I've always wanted to fit in. I've always wanted to be the girl who everyone wants to hang out with. And so last night, with K and G, I got wasted. Not just a little tipsy, but wasted.

And the sad part is, it was really fun. And one of my normal excuses for not drinking is "I'll do something stupid." But the thing is - I didn't do anything that I wouldn't have done sober. Which means I can't use that excuse anymore, even if it is valid.

So regardless, I felt extremely guilty. So I asked for forgiveness from Jesus. And yet, I still feel guilty. What do I do? I mean, I know I have been forgiven, but I still feel so ashamed. This isn't freedom!

Satan does this to us. He knows that we don't see things like God does - we don't see ourselves as blameless. And Satan knows that we don't understand that God DOES see things differently because His LOVE is different. Satan helps us to convince ourselves that we have screwed up our chances with God. Satan shouldn't have any footing here. So let's stop letting him have it.