ENFP Confessions #4

Sometimes I feel like my imaginative life is maybe more active than my actual life.

Recently, some friends and I went to see the Secret Life of Walter Mitty. It was fantastic - a definite idealist movie and I definitely recommend seeing it if you want some inspiration. [Favourite quote: "Beautiful things don't ask for attention."]

From the moment I saw the movie's trailer, something about it stood out to me. If you haven't heard about it, it's a guy who lives in a daydreamy world where he is a heroic champion and must go on a journey to discover his true identity. And that stuck out to me. 

I know I've mentioned it on here before how intense my daydreaming life is - sometimes it distracts me from what's really going on in my life. I can daydream for hours if nothing interrupts me, and I always go on the most exciting and incredible adventures. In my head. Yup. 

So I was pretty convinced that this movie was going to be about an introverted, male version of myself (and I was right). I think my little daydreaming problem is such a beneficial gift - sometimes it teaches me valuable things about people, relationships and myself. Sometimes, however, I need to go live my adventures instead of daydreaming about them.

ENFP thought for the day: I think emotion and imagination are rational logic in their own ways.

hometown & senoritis

I'm back! After a month off of blogging (for exams, visiting my hometown and getting settled into a new semester), I am blogging again! Y'all probably missed me, right?

For those of you who don't know me, I'm from a small coastal town in BC. I went to visit my fam for Christmas and it was so restful. I know I've blogged before about how exhausting it can be to visit family (or go on vacation in general), but this was not the case this year. 

I cannot even begin to share how meaningful it was for me that my family understood the level of exhaustion I showed up with. I slept for 12 hours a day, watched tons of movies and tv, hung out with my prego sister, cuddled with my cat, had long (and deep) talks with old friends and just sort of chilled. Sound lame? It was. But more than anything it was exactly what I needed.

Now I'm starting my last semester at the university of alberta. I honestly don't know how to feel - I'm sad, I'm excited, I'm annoyed, I'm overjoyed, I'm scared, I'm brave... I think it's called senoritis. Trying to find purpose in life while trying to ride the high of making it through 5 years of intense education. Intense growth.

I'm not sure what the future holds, and sometimes that's pretty scary. I do know, however, that this is going to be the best semester of my life. 

and I'm thrilled.

Blogmopolitan Quiz

So I basically feel like a celeb right now. You know those quizzes at the interview section of Cosmo? Well this super cool blogger put together a similar quiz for us blogging ladies to fill out.
This was seriously SO fun.
It didn't quite fit properly in my template, but you just have to click on it for it to get bigger!

Love it!

in case you haven't heard

So something crazy happened about an hour ago and I feel like it's worth posting about. It's no big deal or anything but BEYONCE RELEASED A NEW ALBUM. With a video for every song. oh my dear goodness gracious. Queen Bey. Forever. And always. AAAAH!! This ENFP is freaking right out!

Post by Beyoncé.

procrastination list

I'm procrastinating on studying for my Cell Bio final, and I thought I'd share my procrastinations with y'all.

1. I just counted how many lip glosses/lip chaps are on my desk. The answer is 5. Is that necessary? I don't know. It's an addiction I can't fully explain... especially the lip gloss thing, because I hardly ever wear it (I hate it when my hair sticks to my lips). 

2. I tried to make banana bread, and after I mixed it all up I realized I don't have a bread pan. Soooo I tried putting it into muffin tins. It really didn't work out. Looks awful, but tastes amazing, so I guess it's not a complete lose.

3. I really appreciated reading through this. How many of these things apply to you? 

4. In the spirit of counting things at my desk, I also have 9 notepads on top of my desk. That's not including the ones in the boxes under my desk. I know, I know I don't need that many notepads. but they're kind of my favourite thing to buy for myself. They're so pretty, I just can't resist.

5. I can't quite get enough of this mash-up, despite the heavy influences of my least favourite song ever. What do you think? 

Well I guess it's back to cell bio for me. Happy exams, friends!

ENFP Confessions #3

Relationships are probably the most important thing in the world to me. I love people in general, and I've been known to tell people that I don't do acquaintances. We either are friends, or we're not friends, and there's no real in between for me. My relationships are part of my identity. In the words of my favourite ENFP...

I have a really hard time letting go of my relationships. The getting to know someone process is incredibly life changing for me with any relationship, particularly deeper relationships. My relationships become a huge part of who I am; it's challenging for me to accept that sometimes the most healthy thing is to take a break from a relationship.

I know this post seems kind of serious, but it's something I'm seriously thinking about tonight. Sometimes, letting go of the things we hold dearest can allow us to be extraordinarily free. 

I will!

Two posts in one day! what!?

I just saw this video from one of my favourite video bloggers, and it really inspired and motivated me, so I wanted to share it here!

thoughts for today

Honestly, it's a tough gig to be a girl sometimes. The media puts us in the business of comparison and jealousy - a pressure that makes it challenging to love yourself.

Lately I've been really unhappy with my physical appearance. It's been really weighing me down. I was telling my best friend about how unhappy I am, and he asked me "when do you think you'll be happy with yourself?" 

When I'm perfect.

And let's face it: that day is never going to come. I'm never, ever going to be perfect. The standards I've set for myself are actually completely unattainable. But I can't let go of this feeling that I'll always need to be something better. At what point can I just be happy with who I am? I think it is important to aim for growth, to aim for a better version of yourself, to learn and to be changed by life. But I think it's also important to be happy with yourself at each stage.

How do I re-motivate myself to aim for a healthier life without putting myself through horrible circumstances again? As some of you may know, when I'd lost 70 pounds, I had done a lot of that (at least half) by starving myself. I struggled so much with anorexia and if I ever ate "too much," I would workout ridiculously hard to make up for it. This behaviour was reinforced by everyone telling me how great I looked. I was much more confident, but I was never satisfied.

So this time, I want to make sure I'm doing it the healthy way. It's really easy for me to become uninspired when I don't immediately see results. I don't know how to start over. I don't know how to love myself where I'm at. But these are my thoughts for today.

ENFP Confessions #2

I'm intensely passionate about an extremely wide array of things... and all of those things don't necessarily go together, either.

Seriously, I'm really hyper-passionate. Sex, faith, singing, education, human rights and social justice, fairtrade, writing, getting to know others... the list goes on. At least there's somewhat of a common element; you can kind of narrow down the list. I really love people!

And I hear a lot of other ENFPs have this struggle too! I regularly wonder if I'll ever decide what I want to be when I grow up. If I ever grow up, that is. It's so hard to figure out what "my thing" is... I guess I both love and hate this about myself. I love that I love so many things. But I also desperately wish that I at least had an idea of what my future would hold.

In the end, I think I'll keep living a life of happiness and love. To be totally honest, as confusing as being hyper-passionate can be, my life is very full of love and joy because of it. So... I think I'll just embrace this hyper-passionate part of myself - it is, after all, a pretty good problem to have.

Self and Sexuality

If you've ever talked to me, you've probably found out that I'm really passionate about a relatively unorthodox topic. This passion is something I've always thought was a problem - because it can make others uncomfortable at times, it made me feel like my passion wasn't valid.

And then one day, something clicked for me. A passion is a passion. You're passionate about music. She's passionate about running. He's got a passion for writing. And mine is no different - it's a passion just like any other.

My passion is human sexuality. I love talking about sex, I love teaching others about sex, and I love learning new things about it. Don't be confused - my passion isn't necessarily having sex - it's the topic of sexuality. I love thinking about the concepts of gender, attraction, consent, body image, identity and sex in general. I love the idea of having a culture where sex is an openly talked about subject. I love the idea of living in a world where everybody is being sexually fulfilled. I love the idea of having a society that is not afraid to talk about sex and ask the harder questions that surround it. I believe that human sexuality should be talked about. Correct sexual education can save lives and proper sexual health can change lives. 

So I've been aware of this passion in my life for a pretty long time now. After I got past the giggly teenager phase, I discovered that sexual health is important to me, so I started reading and searching out others with the same interests. Soon I learned that there is a whole industry related to sexual health - I started daydreaming about teaching sex ed, about giving counsel to others, about being able to express my passion and help others through that. It fit so well with my passion for psychology and mental health that I started combining the passions and dreaming of being a sex therapist.

Yesterday, something magical happened. Yesterday, I did my first "gig" as a sexual health educator. Granted, it was at a retreat for my student group... But it was magical! I felt alive, I felt happy, I felt excited. As I yammered on about HPV, body image and sexual identity, I realized that I could do this every day for the rest of my life and love it.

I'll be honest - I'm not sure if I'll pursue a career as a sexual health educator, sexologist or sex therapist. I'd love to do any and all of those things, but I'm also passionate about a billion other things... I change my mind on the daily. But I'm also not going to ignore this passion. I think we have passions for a reason, and I believe that a passion for human sexuality is no different. I hope, with all my heart, that I can use this passion in the long run to change the world. 

ENFP Confessions #1

Trying to keep my thoughts on point is like trying to keep a wave on the sand. Honestly, sometimes I think the reason I talk to myself so much is because the thoughts don't fit in my head anymore. The other night, I didn't know my roommate was home and I was chatting away to myself. Later on, she got up to go to the bathroom and my face went BEET RED! She must think I'm crazy!

I'm just like Dory from Finding Nemo; enthusiastic and talking a mile-a-minute... except far less forgetful. Conversation is of extremely high importance to me, so I'm unlikely to forget the things you tell me.

My feelings and my ability to trust others? That's another confession for another time :) ENFP out!

thanksgiving

Fall is definitely my favourite season. I love the cooler weather, the clothes, the colours, the smells, the FOOD... I love it all! This weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving, and I'm really appreciating having some downtime. Despite the fact that I'm not really doing anything for Thanksgiving, it seemed like an oh-so-appropriate time to make a list of the things I'm very thankful for.

1. downtime
2. salted caramel hot chocolate
3. candles
4. peace
5. long talks with my mommy
6. crunchy fall leaves
7. cozy scarves
8. my kitty!
9. sleep (I seriously fell asleep at 10:30 pm the other night!
10. "youngest" and her onion
11. grace
12. laughing with friends until your abs hurt
13. eggs

Happy Thanksgiving! What are you thankful for?