ENFP Confessions #3

Relationships are probably the most important thing in the world to me. I love people in general, and I've been known to tell people that I don't do acquaintances. We either are friends, or we're not friends, and there's no real in between for me. My relationships are part of my identity. In the words of my favourite ENFP...

I have a really hard time letting go of my relationships. The getting to know someone process is incredibly life changing for me with any relationship, particularly deeper relationships. My relationships become a huge part of who I am; it's challenging for me to accept that sometimes the most healthy thing is to take a break from a relationship.

I know this post seems kind of serious, but it's something I'm seriously thinking about tonight. Sometimes, letting go of the things we hold dearest can allow us to be extraordinarily free. 

I will!

Two posts in one day! what!?

I just saw this video from one of my favourite video bloggers, and it really inspired and motivated me, so I wanted to share it here!

thoughts for today

Honestly, it's a tough gig to be a girl sometimes. The media puts us in the business of comparison and jealousy - a pressure that makes it challenging to love yourself.

Lately I've been really unhappy with my physical appearance. It's been really weighing me down. I was telling my best friend about how unhappy I am, and he asked me "when do you think you'll be happy with yourself?" 

When I'm perfect.

And let's face it: that day is never going to come. I'm never, ever going to be perfect. The standards I've set for myself are actually completely unattainable. But I can't let go of this feeling that I'll always need to be something better. At what point can I just be happy with who I am? I think it is important to aim for growth, to aim for a better version of yourself, to learn and to be changed by life. But I think it's also important to be happy with yourself at each stage.

How do I re-motivate myself to aim for a healthier life without putting myself through horrible circumstances again? As some of you may know, when I'd lost 70 pounds, I had done a lot of that (at least half) by starving myself. I struggled so much with anorexia and if I ever ate "too much," I would workout ridiculously hard to make up for it. This behaviour was reinforced by everyone telling me how great I looked. I was much more confident, but I was never satisfied.

So this time, I want to make sure I'm doing it the healthy way. It's really easy for me to become uninspired when I don't immediately see results. I don't know how to start over. I don't know how to love myself where I'm at. But these are my thoughts for today.

ENFP Confessions #2

I'm intensely passionate about an extremely wide array of things... and all of those things don't necessarily go together, either.

Seriously, I'm really hyper-passionate. Sex, faith, singing, education, human rights and social justice, fairtrade, writing, getting to know others... the list goes on. At least there's somewhat of a common element; you can kind of narrow down the list. I really love people!

And I hear a lot of other ENFPs have this struggle too! I regularly wonder if I'll ever decide what I want to be when I grow up. If I ever grow up, that is. It's so hard to figure out what "my thing" is... I guess I both love and hate this about myself. I love that I love so many things. But I also desperately wish that I at least had an idea of what my future would hold.

In the end, I think I'll keep living a life of happiness and love. To be totally honest, as confusing as being hyper-passionate can be, my life is very full of love and joy because of it. So... I think I'll just embrace this hyper-passionate part of myself - it is, after all, a pretty good problem to have.

Self and Sexuality

If you've ever talked to me, you've probably found out that I'm really passionate about a relatively unorthodox topic. This passion is something I've always thought was a problem - because it can make others uncomfortable at times, it made me feel like my passion wasn't valid.

And then one day, something clicked for me. A passion is a passion. You're passionate about music. She's passionate about running. He's got a passion for writing. And mine is no different - it's a passion just like any other.

My passion is human sexuality. I love talking about sex, I love teaching others about sex, and I love learning new things about it. Don't be confused - my passion isn't necessarily having sex - it's the topic of sexuality. I love thinking about the concepts of gender, attraction, consent, body image, identity and sex in general. I love the idea of having a culture where sex is an openly talked about subject. I love the idea of living in a world where everybody is being sexually fulfilled. I love the idea of having a society that is not afraid to talk about sex and ask the harder questions that surround it. I believe that human sexuality should be talked about. Correct sexual education can save lives and proper sexual health can change lives. 

So I've been aware of this passion in my life for a pretty long time now. After I got past the giggly teenager phase, I discovered that sexual health is important to me, so I started reading and searching out others with the same interests. Soon I learned that there is a whole industry related to sexual health - I started daydreaming about teaching sex ed, about giving counsel to others, about being able to express my passion and help others through that. It fit so well with my passion for psychology and mental health that I started combining the passions and dreaming of being a sex therapist.

Yesterday, something magical happened. Yesterday, I did my first "gig" as a sexual health educator. Granted, it was at a retreat for my student group... But it was magical! I felt alive, I felt happy, I felt excited. As I yammered on about HPV, body image and sexual identity, I realized that I could do this every day for the rest of my life and love it.

I'll be honest - I'm not sure if I'll pursue a career as a sexual health educator, sexologist or sex therapist. I'd love to do any and all of those things, but I'm also passionate about a billion other things... I change my mind on the daily. But I'm also not going to ignore this passion. I think we have passions for a reason, and I believe that a passion for human sexuality is no different. I hope, with all my heart, that I can use this passion in the long run to change the world. 

ENFP Confessions #1

Trying to keep my thoughts on point is like trying to keep a wave on the sand. Honestly, sometimes I think the reason I talk to myself so much is because the thoughts don't fit in my head anymore. The other night, I didn't know my roommate was home and I was chatting away to myself. Later on, she got up to go to the bathroom and my face went BEET RED! She must think I'm crazy!

I'm just like Dory from Finding Nemo; enthusiastic and talking a mile-a-minute... except far less forgetful. Conversation is of extremely high importance to me, so I'm unlikely to forget the things you tell me.

My feelings and my ability to trust others? That's another confession for another time :) ENFP out!

thanksgiving

Fall is definitely my favourite season. I love the cooler weather, the clothes, the colours, the smells, the FOOD... I love it all! This weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving, and I'm really appreciating having some downtime. Despite the fact that I'm not really doing anything for Thanksgiving, it seemed like an oh-so-appropriate time to make a list of the things I'm very thankful for.

1. downtime
2. salted caramel hot chocolate
3. candles
4. peace
5. long talks with my mommy
6. crunchy fall leaves
7. cozy scarves
8. my kitty!
9. sleep (I seriously fell asleep at 10:30 pm the other night!
10. "youngest" and her onion
11. grace
12. laughing with friends until your abs hurt
13. eggs

Happy Thanksgiving! What are you thankful for?

September Favourites

I love lists, as you probably know, so I thought I would make a list of my favourite things from September! With pictures!

Studio pants from LuluLemon

these are seriously the most comfortable pants on the face of the earth. if it was socially acceptable, I would wear them every day.

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Pumpkin Pecan Waffle Candles 

this is definitely my new favourite candle from Bath & Body Works. it smells like pie and happiness

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Vanilla Almond Crunch Granola

this cereal, from Archer Farms, is amazing. if only it were a little healthier... 

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Tennis Courts

Lorde's newest single from her album Pure Heroine is on repeat on my iPhone these days. Don't be weirded out by the incredibly creepy video. 

And here are two of my favourite moments from the last little while:

this is a shot from my dear friends Eric + Jessica's wedding in August. I absolutely love this picture. Credit goes to my amazing friend Kirsten Buyer Photography.

and this last picture is from the Fairtrade Town launch! Yes! that's right, Edmonton is now a Fairtrade town. It's hard to believe sometimes, when you're part of a movement, that the end goal will be reached. But this is proof that some ambition and a lot of hard work can change the world.

just NO.

I sort of have something to rant about today. 

I REALLY hate the song Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke. I hate the video too. And I'm not saying this as a conservative sex-hating Christian OR as a man-bashing feminist, by any means, but as a woman who finds it to be extremely degrading and objectifying! I like most mainstream music - the offensive part of this song is not the sexuality, but the aggression and disrespect behind it.

I think I'll talk about the video first, because it's almost less offensive than the lyrics. It's not the nudity that bothers me - although that does perpetuate the idea that the value of a woman comes with her nudity. It's the fact that the men are clothed, and the women are not.

It's the lyrics, however, that really upset me. There are so many lines in the song that are oh-so-offensive - but my least favourite line is "just let me liberate you." As though women needed men for liberation... I think that erases the point of liberation. Everything in the song says that women are sex objects, and there's something not so consensual about saying "I know you want it." He calls women animals, and essentially proclaims that it's in female nature to want it, even if "you're a good girl," and apparently that means he can take it. There's just so much wrong with this song, I could go on and on about it. 

I understand that this isn't the only degrading song ever written, but it disturbs me that this song is so popular despite such an aggressive sexual tone. I really don't like it. 

What do you think? Am I overreacting, or is this song completely disrespectful to women in every way? Tell me in the comments below!

I'm Still Here!

I know, I know... it's been so long since I've written - I cannot even begin to tell you how busy I've been! With surprise family visits, weddings, an emergency trip to Calgary and my Chicago trip coming up, I have hardly sat in front of my computer for this whole month!

I can't believe that summer is almost over! I'm feeling a little spoiled because everything I wanted this summer to be has happened - I went to Hawaii, I worked part time, I had a lot of introspective time, my mom [and sister!] came to visit, and I'm going to Chicago! August is really flying by, and I am about to start my fifth and final year at the U of A. It's so sad/exciting/crazy to think about.

Although I have much to say, I don't have a lot of time tonight. So, here are some wonderful things that I've been loving lately:

A u g u s t   F a v e s
1. nude nail polish
2. high thread count sheets - seriously life changing!
3. chocolate ice cream eaten from a teacup
4. studio crops from LuluLemon
5. vanilla + fig candles from Anthropologie
6. late night talks with my mommy
7. this inspiration: {taken from Pinterest}

Encouragement - the Girl Behind the Blog

Hey everyone! today I'm linking up for the first time with The Girl Behind the Blog and I'm so excited to share my first ever vlog with you all! I know it's super awkward and very weird, I've never done anything like this before, so my video editing skills were a little amateur!

Girl Crushes

Although I'm a very independent individual, there are a few women out there who I really look up to! Here's my list of girl crushes!

NUMBER ONE: Beyoncé Knowles 

If you've ever talked to me, you had to know this was coming. I LOVE Beyoncé and everything she stands for! I look up to her because she is strong, she is always empowering others (especially women!), she is a great role model, she avoids cheap drama. BeyBey works hard, is an amazing and talented artist, and is a very glam style icon. I adore her - it's definitely on my bucket list to see her in concert!

NUMBER TWO: Amy Poehler
Amy is one woman who I truly look up to and aspire to be like. Firstly, she is HILARIOUS. I love that she's a goofball - but she's no slacker! From producing AND writing AND directing AND starring in her own tv show (and yeah, I have a secondary crush on Leslie Knope) to her YouTube channel, Smart Girls, designed to empower young women, to being involved in the feminist movement, Amy just doesn't quit. She inspires me to be weird, be goofy, be independent - to be myself. I admire her so much!

NUMBER THREE: Emma Stone

Something about Emma just screams friendship! She's so down-to-earth and chill while maintaining a really cool persona - lets face it: we all want to be her bff. Plus, I love her style! I think my favourite thing about Emma is that she really promotes being yourself - no matter how messy and weird you think you are.

NUMBER FOUR: Michelle Obama
Michelle Obama is my favourite first lady. She's so into fitness, empowering women and she's also a hilarious goofball who is incredibly intelligent. I love that she's trying to make a dent in American childhood obesity - also, can I just say it's like a huge dream of mine to work out with her!? I think she's a great leader, an excellent mother and a wonderful wife. So, I have a total girl crush on her!

NUMBER FIVE: Rachel McAdams
Rachel McAdams is my beauty and style icon. She is so naturally beautiful, and I love her classy, girly style. She can pull off any look she wants to, and does so with grace. I also love watching her movies - I think she's such a fantastic actress. She's dramatic, funny and charming all at once! Love her!

So, it's your turn! Tell me in the comments below: who are YOUR girl crushes?