Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long since I've updated ye ol' blog. I am finished my third year of university! amazing that God has gotten me this far and that I haven't given up or committed myself to a mental institution - but my brain feels far beyond capacity right now haha
The last few weeks have been painful but wonderful for me. I gave up a truly ungodly relationship, and though God has met me right there and my walk has picked up again, I'm a little lonely. I'm learning to rely on God for that need to be filled. But with friends getting engaged and in serious relationships I can't lie - I'm getting pretty jealous.
Another thing I need to work through... I've lost 35 pounds! I still have a ways to go but along this weight loss/health journey I'm certain I've started to develop an eating disorder. I cannot seem to stop comparing my body/hair/smile/eyes/clothes/height/strength to other girls and it's hard. Some days I struggle to eat at all, and on days that I eat "too much" (ie: over 1400 calories) I work myself out ridiculously hard. I'm trying to be healthy but I feel like in many ways this good thing has become a seriously troublesome thing. I can't eat in public without feeling like everybody is staring at me. Fat girls seen eating = frowned upon.
My exams only ended today so hopefully I'll be able to pray through loneliness/jealousy/eating problems now that my head isn't stuck in a textbook.
suggestions?
The last few weeks have been painful but wonderful for me. I gave up a truly ungodly relationship, and though God has met me right there and my walk has picked up again, I'm a little lonely. I'm learning to rely on God for that need to be filled. But with friends getting engaged and in serious relationships I can't lie - I'm getting pretty jealous.
Another thing I need to work through... I've lost 35 pounds! I still have a ways to go but along this weight loss/health journey I'm certain I've started to develop an eating disorder. I cannot seem to stop comparing my body/hair/smile/eyes/clothes/height/strength to other girls and it's hard. Some days I struggle to eat at all, and on days that I eat "too much" (ie: over 1400 calories) I work myself out ridiculously hard. I'm trying to be healthy but I feel like in many ways this good thing has become a seriously troublesome thing. I can't eat in public without feeling like everybody is staring at me. Fat girls seen eating = frowned upon.
My exams only ended today so hopefully I'll be able to pray through loneliness/jealousy/eating problems now that my head isn't stuck in a textbook.
suggestions?
