growing and shrinking pains!

Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long since I've updated ye ol' blog. I am finished my third year of university! amazing that God has gotten me this far and that I haven't given up or committed myself to a mental institution - but my brain feels far beyond capacity right now haha
The last few weeks have been painful but wonderful for me. I gave up a truly ungodly relationship, and though God has met me right there and my walk has picked up again, I'm a little lonely. I'm learning to rely on God for that need to be filled. But with friends getting engaged and in serious relationships I can't lie - I'm getting pretty jealous.
Another thing I need to work through... I've lost 35 pounds! I still have a ways to go but along this weight loss/health journey I'm certain I've started to develop an eating disorder. I cannot seem to stop comparing my body/hair/smile/eyes/clothes/height/strength to other girls and it's hard. Some days I struggle to eat at all, and on days that I eat "too much" (ie: over 1400 calories) I work myself out ridiculously hard. I'm trying to be healthy but I feel like in many ways this good thing has become a seriously troublesome thing. I can't eat in public without feeling like everybody is staring at me. Fat girls seen eating = frowned upon.
My exams only ended today so hopefully I'll be able to pray through loneliness/jealousy/eating problems now that my head isn't stuck in a textbook.
suggestions?

In 2012 I Resolve To

1. Be real in my faith by constant prayer + adoration, and by choosing to serve the Lord instead of my selfish desires.

2. Stop eating beef - beef production is one of the leading causes of global warming.

3. Stop drinking pop - that stuff's nasty. Still don't know if this includes iced tea.

4. Seek to be Galatians 5:22-23 + seek the spirit's leading in this!

5. Create a budget and stick to it.

6. End an unhealthy friendship that I should no longer be maintaining.

7. Put on a purity ring + mean it as a commitment to God.

8. Stop biting my nails.

Stress Leave

A few people have been asking me what's been up with me lately so I thought I'd just write a quick note to explain a little.

I am very tired. It is not the kind of "I'm not sleeping enough" tired (though I'm sure I could use more sleep!), but the kind of tired where the exhaustion spreads over everything. As many of you know, last semester was very stressful for me academically, relationally, schedule-wise, and more than anything spiritually. Christmas vacation was a lot of fun, but the trouble with going home for only 2 weeks a year is that you don't get to rest up while you're out of school. When I came back to Edmonton, my flight was followed by a first day at a new job and a full weekend. School started 3 days later.

I initially began the semester taking 5 classes, but since one of them was not going to count towards my major or my minor and included a lot of paper writing (which is time consuming!) I dropped it and decided to take 4. After realizing that I was wiped out and wanted to cry by the third day of school, I decided to reduce my course load down to 3 classes and to call this semester "stress leave."

My goal in taking a reduced semester is that I do not want to fill up all of my now "free time" with social justice and church work. As much as I love love LOVE both of those things, there is only so much of me to go around. I will be keeping my commitments to MPH and MBC at the same level they were last semester.

My other goal is to find _________. Whatever the blank is, I will find it in the hands of God. That is where I am headed this semester.

So, for those of you that will, I would appreciate prayer. I need God, I need my cup refilled. Other things I would appreciate? Good music suggestions and tea dates. :)